What to do about in-laws.
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What to do about in-laws.
| Thu, 01-11-2007 - 11:03am |
Why can't in-laws, just mine their own business. I love my family, but my family realize that i have kids and a husband of my own. My mom lives less than five minute from me and i probably see her 5 times a year and 3 times she doesn't even come in. My sister in law on the other hand, lives 30 minute from us and i see her 5 times a week. She just comes and open my door without even knocking.My husband gave her a key, no one in my famiuly have a key. If one of my family members ask me to do something he gets upset. His sister runs him like a taxi cab.What woman do you know that will take care of her sister-in-law son for two years? and she lives 30 minute away form my house, signs his up for activites, drop his off and pick him up from schoola dn after-school activities. Buy his clothes and shoes, because i do not want him to feel lefted ou. What should i do? i am crying while write this, if i knew this was how is was going to be i would have not gotten married.

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First, tell your SIL that the key she has is for emergency purposes only, and if she comes over, she is a guest and should not barge in as if she owns the place. That it is not her home, and she should knock and be envited in, not come in on her own accord because it bothers you.
I have no idea what you are talking about in the second half of your post about "her sister-in-law son for two years". It makes no sence. Could you clarify?
firstly get the key off the girl.
secondly talk to hubby. does he know how you feel. i would sit him down with no other distractions and have a good heart to heart. then re-assess.
hugs.
Hi Gal Althea,
You seem frustrated and trying to please everyone at the same time and in doing so you feel that it is unappreciated. I know how you feel. It seems as though they don't want to give you credit for anything. They don't want to acknowledge your help and efforts. This is exactly what I go through with my future or should I say maybe future sister-in law whom just had a baby and I feel as though she tries to brush me off when I am near her. She cracks jokes and what not in front of my boyfriend about stupid things and then she doesn't even acknowledge that I am there. You know, that cold shoulder type of attitude. She's nice to me because she has to be, not because she wants to be. So, I have a problem with that because I have tried my very best to show that I care about her brother and how much I love him. It seems as though since my family as not as wealthy, she thinks she can treat me like that, my family is kind of poor but that doesn't mean anyone who has money have the right to treat me any less. So, I understand the feeling when you are too nice they seem to not appreciate the things you do for them. When you are b---- then they like you. It seems that way to me, maybe I am wrong but it's the way I feel.
I am not sure if she's jealous but I have a feeling she's resentful towards me for whatever the reasons. It's like she has his back on everything, if we have an argument about something then she'll use that against me to get my boyfriend against me. One day, she called the house and I picked up the phone and she had asked how things were going, I told her "you know we just moved in together and still fixing the place, then she asked for her brother and lately at the time, he was kind of edgy, like not himself. I then told her that he has his moments you know. I found out later on in the argument with my boyfriend that she told the family and him what I said. He was angry and distant with a different attitude, he was somewhat cold and not speaking to me as if something was terribly wrong. So you see, I can't trust her either because she uses anything she can to make me look bad. Can anyone help me solve this situation? Sometimes I feel I can't breathe. Plus, she stays in contact with his ex!!! They are best friends, but his ex is already married.
Why does your boyfriend get upset with you when *she* tells him to?
Does he not think for himself? If he cannot separate what he *knows* about you from what she tells him about you, then you need to re-assess your relationship. Or at the very least give you the courtesy of asking *NICELY* for your side of things before getting all pouty.
As long as the boyfriend/fiance/husband/ stands *with* his partner, it doesn't matter what trash his family of origin throws.
If the man will *not* stand with his partner, then the situation will *NEVER* improve.
Do please refrain from handing his sister the trash to throw at you, though. She should *always* be told that everything is fine, your relationship is fine, no problems here! Save your venting and sharing for your friends, who you already know you can trust.
Good luck to you.
ilve2read
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