Literally married the family

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Literally married the family
10
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 4:59pm
So we recently got married (about 4 months ago) just about then is when my MIL decided to move in with us....just because, no asking just moved it. Husband agreed once we came back from our honeymoon we would sit down with her and ask her what her plans were. HE also promised to stand up for me and make me his priority. (Due note she is living in a one 1/2 bdroom house with her two kids....OMG.) It has been like 3 months and my loving husband has not done a damn thing. He hasn't talked to her or laid out any rules. She has taken over my house i can't even make a phone call in my house because my SIL uses the phone 24/7 and boy is she sarcastic. NOW i tell my husband we need to talk and all he does is sending me to church mind you i do go to church and believe me i have been praying. He is saying that there are more important things to worry about that about his mother living with us. IS is wrong if i want my husband to stand up give me my place in my house?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2004
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 5:50pm

"He is saying that there are more important things to worry about that about his mother living with us."

Really? Like what?

No you are not wrong for asking your husband to have his mother move out. You have put up with it for a long time and you are entitled to begin your married life without the in-laws. Talk to your husband again, calmly but firmly and tell him that she has to go. Keep us posted on what he says. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 6:05pm
I am sooo sorry, I feel your pain. Try to nip it in the bud before it's too late!
I too don't see what could possibly be more important....?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2006
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 6:17pm

Get the classifieds and start looking for another place and tell him you are moving out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 6:53pm

I think you need to have a talk with your husband because I don't believe for one second that she up and moved in with out telling him about it first.

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Avatar for kholt_vi
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2006
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 2:51am
quit being nice and polite. If you want to use the phone ask once if she doesnt hang up unplug it. If MIL says anything or something tell her "don't like it move" "my house my life my rules" It's also your marriage sometimes you have to fight for it even if your fighting your in laws for it. If your husband doesnt back you then he never will and your better off find that out now. There's also the oldest trick in the book that we women have always been accused of. Tell him you dont feel comfortable being intimate with so many people in such a small place. If that doesnt motivate him nothing will.
Good luck 2 u.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 2:34pm

You know yourself best, junckfun. Are you the woman to pack his mother's bag and throw it on the porch? Or are you the woman to realize that you don't have a marriage, and move out yourself?

You see, he looked you straight in the eye and lied to you. He doesn't give a fig if you are unhappy with his mother there. He has married you under false-pretenses. You don't know if one single thing that he has ever said to you has been true!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 01-27-2007 - 12:09pm

Hi Junckfun, welcome!

Your husband has obviously made his choice about who he feels is most important in his life and that is his mother. He married you, but to him, it looks like you are 2nd best to his mother. Is that the kind of marriage you want? After only 4 months of marriage, he is already putting someone else first?!?

I think you need to talk to him again and tell him either he talks to her or you do. Let him know that if you do, you are telling her that she has a week to move out and that's that. Also, tell him that if she doesn't move out by X date, you are going to look for your own place to live (if that is what you want to do). Of course, if you make that threat, you have to stick to it, otherwise, he will know that you are making empty threats and won't take you seriously when you make a threat again.

Your husband should be standing up for you in your house, which is why if he doesn't, you should stand up for yourself in your house and tell MIL that she needs to move out.








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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Sat, 01-27-2007 - 1:24pm
This is unacceptable that is why I ended up in divorce from my guy he would let his family treat me like SH*** and I had to take it well you don't need to take it tell him to set some ground rules or you can get an annullment and be with a man that will respect you and not let his family run over you

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 12:24pm
Your message was loud and clear not only to me but especially to my DH. He has realized that he has failed in our marriage and that as a family we will sit down with his mom to determine how long she is planning to stay in our house. He also mentioned that there will be rules since obviously they are needed. so thanks for your advise and i will keep you posted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 6:16pm
That's GREAT!! WooHoo for darling hubby sticking up for his woman! Now give him a big smootch, tell him you're proud that he's stepping up and being your Man and go have some nekkidfun!
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