I think you are over reacting and making a big deal out of nothing. If she wants to be petty and play that game let her, it doesn't mean you have to be petty and play with her. Just accept that gifts from granny stay at granny's house because she can't share. Lol, tell DS that if you want even, as sooner or later he's going to start asking why she gives him gifts and then takes them back and won't let him have them.
You are certainly in the wrong if you're going to pick a fight with your husband over a snow sled! You never replied to any of the questions people asked in your past thread. Have you addressed your PPD issues? Did you get help? Unless you do you wont stop overreacting to every tiny thing. And you'll just make yourself more miserable in the process.
Well I can see why you would be upset. If it were just the sled, then I'd say no biggie to keep the sled there. But most of the presents she gave him? And coming to your house to take some of them back?
Sounds like she is over-attached to your child and trying to set up a happy little home at her house. I got that from your last thread (I think some of your last thread was a lot of drama so I didn't bother to post, but on this point I agree with you there is a problem). It's great that she was there for you when you needed it, but she really seems to be over-attached to her son and now yours.
I understand your frustration in this situation, Dawn. I have had similar experiences with my own MIL. It probably would not bother you as much if you and MIL were on good terms with each other. My MIL and I were not on good terms either when my son was young and I refused to give her access to my son without me being there with him. What happened was that he didn't spend very much time at her house and quickly outgrew interest in the toys and the games that she wanted to hang onto. On one level I felt sorry for her, but on the other hand, I was not comfortable with my son developing a close relationship with someone who has so much resent for his mother. Why don't you just get duplicates of the toys for your son to have at home with you and don't worry about MIL and her games -- the ones with your son and with you! ;o)
Let the infant keep her little toy. Then limit the visits. I still say if your MIL cannot grow the heck up and treat you decently, then she doesn't need to see your child when she wants to. From your past posts about her, I would be afraid she would say nasty things about you to your son.
Your husband has already shown where his loyalty lies. I think it is disgusting. If I could speak to him I would ask him why he BOTHERED to marry and have children. To provide his mother with children that she cannot have herself? It sure seems that way to me.
I am glad to hear you are in counseling. I hope you have a direct and to-the-point counselor who will tell your DH like it is.
Hi I'm really happy to hear that you are in counselling. Both for yourself and with your husband. About your MIL it sounds like her actions have added up and you are so resentful that you are reacting to every little thing. It definitely sounds like an unhealthy situation if your husband insists on sticking up for her all the time. Your MIL sounds like a typical overbearing possessive woman.. There ARE ways to deal with people like that, but you are right.. you need your husband to be on your side for this.
I think that in this situation you will have to expect very slow progress with your husband. If you are going to a good counsellor he will be able to make headway with him, but you can't expect things to change overnight. Your husband is not all of a sudden wake up and start setting up boundaries. And if you expect that you will be disappointed and the anger will continue to build and there will be outbursts like there have been in the past. You cannot change your husband overnight, but you CAN decide to change your reaction. For yourself. If you can muster more patience ( I know it's a lot to ask) then you will be more at peace in general. I am sorry that you are going through this.. but hopefully your husband can grow up and learn to take responsibility. You will have to reconcile yourself to the fact that progress will be slow and there will be many many things that they will do that will annoy you.. But let it be limited to annoyance, dont let anger take over.. that only harms you. That's just my 2c. Good luck and do keep us posted.
I can understand you being a little upset that she wants to keep some toys that she buys for your son over at her house. Obviously, she wants to use them to play with him when he comes over. However, I think you are overreacting. I can see being a little upset but being "livid" about it I think is a little much, IMO.
I see that you have more of a DH problem than MIL problem. He allows his parents to still control him by having him have a credit card for "emergencies" and his cell phone is still in his dad's name. Can't your husband have a cell phone in his own name and have his own credit card? Why is he allowing his parents to still control him even though he is married and has his own family? Also, I'm going to speculate that you must have known about the cell phone and credit card before you married him. If you did, then you knew what his parents were like in trying to control him, and therefore, you knew that his parents could probably be hard to deal with. If you did know, and you still married him, then you need to accept it and deal with it. Try to accept that she is like that and that there is nothing you can do about it. I know it may be hard at first, but you are not going to change her. Also, unless your DH stands on his own two feet without having his mommy & daddy "helping" him, there are going to be issues, regardless.
I know this probably isn't the answer you were looking for, but you were looking for advice....
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I think you are over reacting and making a big deal out of nothing. If she wants to be petty and play that game let her, it doesn't mean you have to be petty and play with her. Just accept that gifts from granny stay at granny's house because she can't share. Lol, tell DS that if you want even, as sooner or later he's going to start asking why she gives him gifts and then takes them back and won't let him have them.
There are battles worth fighting and dying
Well I can see why you would be upset. If it were just the sled, then I'd say no biggie to keep the sled there. But most of the presents she gave him? And coming to your house to take some of them back?
Sounds like she is over-attached to your child and trying to set up a happy little home at her house. I got that from your last thread (I think some of your last thread was a lot of drama so I didn't bother to post, but on this point I agree with you there is a problem). It's great that she was there for you when you needed it, but she really seems to be over-attached to her son and now yours.
What does your therapist say about all this?
Why don't you just get duplicates of the toys for your son to have at home with you and don't worry about MIL and her games -- the ones with your son and with you! ;o)
Let the infant keep her little toy. Then limit the visits. I still say if your MIL cannot grow the heck up and treat you decently, then she doesn't need to see your child when she wants to. From your past posts about her, I would be afraid she would say nasty things about you to your son.
Your husband has already shown where his loyalty lies. I think it is disgusting. If I could speak to him I would ask him why he BOTHERED to marry and have children. To provide his mother with children that she cannot have herself? It sure seems that way to me.
I am glad to hear you are in counseling. I hope you have a direct and to-the-point counselor who will tell your DH like it is.
Hi
I'm really happy to hear that you are in counselling. Both for yourself and with your husband.
About your MIL it sounds like her actions have added up and you are so resentful that you are reacting to every little thing. It definitely sounds like an unhealthy situation if your husband insists on sticking up for her all the time. Your MIL sounds like a typical overbearing possessive woman.. There ARE ways to deal with people like that, but you are right.. you need your husband to be on your side for this.
I think that in this situation you will have to expect very slow progress with your husband. If you are going to a good counsellor he will be able to make headway with him, but you can't expect things to change overnight. Your husband is not all of a sudden wake up and start setting up boundaries. And if you expect that you will be disappointed and the anger will continue to build and there will be outbursts like there have been in the past. You cannot change your husband overnight, but you CAN decide to change your reaction. For yourself. If you can muster more patience ( I know it's a lot to ask) then you will be more at peace in general.
I am sorry that you are going through this.. but hopefully your husband can grow up and learn to take responsibility. You will have to reconcile yourself to the fact that progress will be slow and there will be many many things that they will do that will annoy you.. But let it be limited to annoyance, dont let anger take over.. that only harms you. That's just my 2c. Good luck and do keep us posted.
I can understand you being a little upset that she wants to keep some toys that she buys for your son over at her house. Obviously, she wants to use them to play with him when he comes over. However, I think you are overreacting. I can see being a little upset but being "livid" about it I think is a little much, IMO.
I see that you have more of a DH problem than MIL problem. He allows his parents to still control him by having him have a credit card for "emergencies" and his cell phone is still in his dad's name. Can't your husband have a cell phone in his own name and have his own credit card? Why is he allowing his parents to still control him even though he is married and has his own family? Also, I'm going to speculate that you must have known about the cell phone and credit card before you married him. If you did, then you knew what his parents were like in trying to control him, and therefore, you knew that his parents could probably be hard to deal with. If you did know, and you still married him, then you need to accept it and deal with it. Try to accept that she is like that and that there is nothing you can do about it. I know it may be hard at first, but you are not going to change her. Also, unless your DH stands on his own two feet without having his mommy & daddy "helping" him, there are going to be issues, regardless.
I know this probably isn't the answer you were looking for, but you were looking for advice....
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