Boyfriend's family excludes me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2007
Boyfriend's family excludes me!
3
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 2:02pm

Hey all,

I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months and we see each other every day but I'm rarely invited to do anything with his family. They are very nice to me when they see me in person but I rarely get included in anything - I've had dinner with them once!

He shares his birthday with his mother and last year I wasn't invited to his birthday dinner! When I spoke to him about it he said that it was her birthday too and she just wanted it to be family! She's already told him that if we ever have children that they won't be brought up in my faith (she doesn't see why I should win!)

He's involved in every part of my life and it really upsets me that I'm not involved in his. He says that his mum does like me but its just the way his family are but it annoys me that he won't stand up to her!

His brother's girlfriend gets treated the same way!

Help

Midgie_mo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 2:12pm

That would be annoying, from a girlfriend's standpoint. In your shoes, what I would need to know is whether that will change if you should marry. And it's not his mom who must answer that question, it is your BF. You aren't legally "family," and that may be part of the obstacle. But perhaps only part?

I think that the thing you should want re-assurance on is that if you ever did become "family" that your husband would stand firmly by your side anytime there is a family event.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 3:37pm
I can relate to you my man does the same thing to me but it turns out his mother is just old fashion and prefers family now if we ever get married well guess what I am tagging along LOL as for the faith thing she can have an opinion but its really up to you and your guy how you want to raise your kids good luck :)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 6:06pm
I would try to talk to him about how you feel excluded. Maybe he can insist that you get an invitation, or that otherwise he isn't going to dinner with them, etc. He could explain that you are part of his family, even if not part of their family. Maybe you and your boyfriend could also invite his parents to dinner, etc.