sister in law from hell
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sister in law from hell
| Tue, 02-13-2007 - 5:35pm |
My husband has three sisters, I get along great with two of them, but one I can't stand!
she tried breaking my marriage up, started lies, tried to get my husband to get with his ex while I was pregnant with our second child, and another time she tried to get them to sleep together while I was gone. My husband no longer talks to her or goes over her house anymore but she trying to come around now and I'm pissed, when she's not around my marriage is great but when she is she causes so much drama. I need advice on how to deal with this hefer.
she tried breaking my marriage up, started lies, tried to get my husband to get with his ex while I was pregnant with our second child, and another time she tried to get them to sleep together while I was gone. My husband no longer talks to her or goes over her house anymore but she trying to come around now and I'm pissed, when she's not around my marriage is great but when she is she causes so much drama. I need advice on how to deal with this hefer.

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What do you mean she is trying to come around now? Do you mean calling with big "let's be family together" plans or literal coming to your home and trying to get inside to "be family together"?
If she's calling with big plans, you can answer every suggestion with something like, "That won't work for us. Sorry. " or "I'll have DH call you back about that. "
If she's literally coming around and you do not want her there, you *can* refuse to open the door to her. If she won't leave after having been told to do so, you can call the police and have her removed for criminal trespass. I believe you do have to tell her at least once to leave before it can be called criminal trespass but I am not a lawyer, nor do I play one on tv. :o)
Do talk to your DH about her latest actions. Work out what is acceptable, ie your DH visit with her at his parents house - if she's apologized for previous actions and he wants to believer her - and what is not. If you have no desire to be around her after what she has pulled, I do not think you should feel obligated to. Well, other than basic politeness at family gatherings she's at. As your children mature you can teach them that it is okay to tell an adult that they are going to get Mommy or Daddy (or just walk away *to* get Mommy or Daddy) at any time that they are uncomfortable with *any* other person.
Good luck to you. The first thing is to get you and DH working *together* towards mutually acceptable goals.
ilve2read
Hello,
I have to ask has anyone seen thru her lies yet???
If she is going around telling lies that are not
true at some point it will have to become evident
that she is just trying to start drama where there
is none. I have to say that her trying to get you
husband to get with his ex behind your back is ah'
pretty low but I have to say I think that my il's
have condoned my husband calling other girls behind
my back. I caught him 3 times... makes me wonder how
many times I didn't catch him. The second time I
caught him was when he was out of town with his
job and has tried to convince me nothing happened
with this girl. He also stayed up all night long
texting this girl while I sat at home with our kids
staring at my phone waiting for him to call me. He
also tried to tell me that the texting was not sexual.
yes she has been caught on the lies, and everyone knows she likes to start drama, but I can't help but to get pissed about the fact she has been saying really cruel things about me, and now she feels bad because she sees that my husband stop calling her and inviting her to family functions that we have, because of the way she has acted and he knows how I feel about her, but he wants me to give her another chance AGAIN.
But as for your husband I would definitely keep your eyes open, and always trust your gut instinct because as women, that is something we naturally have, but at the same time don't let him know that your watching and payning attention, let him believe that everything is great between the two of you, because if he thinks you suspect he'll be extra careful if he is in fact messing around.
But if he is, you have to figure out what you want to do, and how you'll handle the situation, because there is no excuse for him texting another woman all night long that isn't one of his relatives, but keep me posted because unfortunatly I have experience with a cheating husband.
I would suggest that DH be present at all visits, and that *he* take all phone calls from her. Do you have caller id? If you do, then your involvement can be reduced to telling him that she called, so he can call her back (or not) as he sees fit. If you do not, then you might consider screening *all* calls with the answering machine or just tell her you'll let hubby know she called without going beyond the "Oh, we're all fine, thanks." stage.
Oh, and get it in writing from him that if she reverts *again*, then you and any/all children are off the hook forever or until she has *demonstrated* *shown-for-longer-than-a-month* a *real* change in attitude. And off the hook involves not asking you to be around her at all, except for other family gatherings which you can leave (with or without DH) if *you* feel a need. If he is sincere about putting you first, he'll agree to it. Otherwise he is just adding a new step to *HER* dance. The whole point is to *STOP* her dance of abuse/apologize/make nice/abuse/apologize/make nice etc.
No more "last chances", this one is really it. If she has apologized and reverted more than once before, then this apology may be as hollow and empty, as big a lie, as all of her previous ones.
HTH.
ilve2read
ilve2read
Yes I do have caller ID but even better we just recently moved and she doesn't have our number or address! but yes this is like the fourth apology, and that's why I don't believe nothing she has to say to me and I definitly don't trust her. But I'm still not sure if I am ready to give her another chance yet because what she did was cruel, and non forgivable but I think I might give her a chance once again for my husband but it will take time, and will keep my eyes on her and tell her to keep her drama to herself.
Thank you so much for your advice, it helped out alot hearing someones point of view outside of family, hope to hear from you again, if not take care!
Mia
impress someone becuz he always does the
same thing. He shaves his head,grows a
go-t and if that person smokes he will
start smoking. The girls I have caught
him calling were all people that worked
for him(waitress). He has a diffrent job
now and this job involes going to people's
houses to deliver stuff and pick up stuff.
I have already heard about a couple stories
of girls offering other things than money
to keep the things they rented and coming
to the door wearing next to nothing. He
said that they were gross but it makes
me wonder if he'd take up an offer from
someone he thought were attractive.
rights to the kid???
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