Confused on how to act towards MIL

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2006
Confused on how to act towards MIL
3
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 2:57am
my mil feels she must she the baby atleast three times a week, and my husband feels guilty if she doesnt get to see him three times a week while my mother only gets to see him once a week. I go to school so my mil keeps him tuesday from 8:00 am till 4:00 pm and on thursdays from 8:00 am till 9:00 pm. then she wants to see him all day sunday as well. well i am at school most of the day monday i dont get home till 9:00. so basicly my time with my son is on tuesday wednesday and friday. I get to spend time with him three days a week, and some of those days are only half a day. There are times when I want to stay at home with my baby on sundays, but my MIL raises hell when she doesnt she him on sundays. she says keeping him on tuesday and thursday is work when really she is doing the same thing on sundays. Im so frustrated there are times when she spends more time with my sun than I do, but to her that dont matter. MY husband is to scared to stand up for me for fear of how she will make him feel. No one in the family can get along with her my fil is the one that keeps the whole family form loosing their mind. he tells us all the time to not let what she says bother us I only wish my husband would do so. please lend me advice should i say something to her or remaine quiet in a corner while she tares me down, especially when every one claims she has brain cancer which some how she has had for five years and she is perfectly healthy. i dont know im tired of being quiet.
Avatar for mom2danjam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 7:33am
Find another sitter and don't give in to a bully. Simple as that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 10:05am
It's YOUR child.If you want to keep your child home on Sunday than do it.If your husband won't help you than stand up for yourself.I would NOT let her have that much control over MY life and MY family,that's just crazy.What's more important to you,her feelings or you bonding with your own child? That's pretty much what it comes done to.I think 2 days out of a week is plenty enough tome with MIL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 1:57am

I know it would be hard but I would try to find another sitter as well. Your DH my not want to upset her in fear of needing her as a baby sitter. Then once you find someone you can tell her that since spending time with your child on those days was work for her that she no longer has to worry about it. Then on Sundays tell DH that you have not spent enough time with him or your child. Ask him to spend some alone time with his family .... you and your child.

Trust me I have 10 years of my mil controlling me... you break it now or it will be harder down the road. I am just trying to find a way to get my control back with out causing an all out war between everyone. So my advice to you the sooner the better. Do it now.