When you noticed jealousy as a problem
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When you noticed jealousy as a problem
| Sat, 02-21-2004 - 2:39pm |
If any of you have ever had trouble with a man being overly jealous and possessive, what were your red flags?
Just a little curious here... trying to learn.

The only time I noticed it was a week before I got the heck out of Dodge, as we would only go out with "his" friends.
CL-Blueliner4
You'll find those with a controlling nature do not like us looking at anyone else whether or not they are of the same gender. It's all about them and them alone, either we play by their rules or we are punished.
Hope this helps!
Hugs
I can tell you a few things that indicated to me as red flags with Scott.
Also, he continually worked it into our conversations that he was a "very jealous person," because he is a Scorpio and that's one of the traits of a Scorpio so, of course, he can't help it. He would "warn" me that, if I went certain places or did certain things (like out with *mutual* friends of ours who were guys), he would be jealous and upset. Also, he would pick on the fact that I am a Gemini and, therefore, I'm "fickle, flirtatious and two-faced." So, it was like he almost *expected* me to do something to make him jealous, and he looked for "evidence" all the time. (Checking the call logs in my cell phone, checking the call logs on our home phone, etc.)
Also, anytime I went out with girl friends of mine, he would accuse me of trying to pick up men. (Because the majority of my friends were single.)
Just a few things that tipped me off to the jealousy issue . . . good luck!
Love & Hugs,
Emm
Note to self: stop dating or marrying Scorpios!
My ex-monster was a scorpio, the guy I was referring to in this post is a scorpio and one other person I know of who has the same tendencies is one, too. And they're all icky men!
Oh my god! At least there are 11 months left in the year ;-)
At first it IS flattering in a way... "Aw, how nice he's interested in my friends and who I know..."
Then it becomes:
Who was that on the answering machine?
What did he want?
How do you know him?
Has he asked you out?
Are you flirting with him?
Why is he calling you?
What are you doing to make men look at you?
When did you see him last?
What did you say to him?
Why does he have your number?
I bet you talk to him behind my back, don't you?
aaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggg!
And the main one, from the ex-monster (exhusband)... drum rolllllllllll
"The only men YOU are going to know are the one's who have f*cked you and the one's who haven't f*cked you - yet"...
Right...
One thing I've learned is that there are many ways to be a d*ck other than using physical force or unquestionable verbal insults and intimidation...
Love,
Emm
Our main problem is jealousy and possessiveness. Everything you all have mentioned we go thru too! I'm sick of it. I too have to keep my eyes down when in public. Meanwhile he makes it very clear that he is noticing other women. He even nudges me to look at how beautiful they are. But God forbid I notice another man.
My phone calls are screened. I am not even to answer the phone. My cell phone is checked daily. Then we go thru each call and I get to explain each one. And boy o'boy those that come up "private". Those cause serious fights if I forget to erase them.
I am not "allowed" to talk to anyone when he is around. He expects my full attention. If the phone rings make it quick. I am not to leave the house by myself when he is home. Even to run to the store for milk or something. Nope. I must be running to see my other man! His explanation is I have all day to do what I want while he is working. I don't have to account for my time from 8-5 M-F with the exception of lunches. Last Friday, when I got home he tore up my clothes because I went to work in heels and my black dress pants. He said I look like a slut and I never dress up for him so I can't dress up for other people. Evidently I'm not to wear skirts, heels or tight clothes to work.
It's quite sickening reading all the posts on this topic. They're all what I go thru. Very sad.
By the way...I'm a scorpio, and I'm wonderful despite what b/f says. :)
Charmed
Hope you keep coming and find ideas and strength here that will help you put an escape plan together. The life you describe sounds like hell.
You also sound very bright and have a clear understanding of how wrong his behaviours and thoughts are. That's good.
Best of luck.
Hummer