some advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
some advice
2
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 10:35am
hi. i'm new to this board and would appreciate some advice. I've been with my partner for around 5 years, and during this time he has been violent on several occassions, but generally with long breaks between the physical violence. The last time he attacked me was 10 months ago. He's a very aggressive person, and he's often unreasonable angry - or as he puts it - stressed out. Over the past few months we've been closer than for the rest of our relationship, but I feel I can't trust him, and so I finished the relationship last week. He's been in touch every day since, and has asked me to try again - you know, go to relationship counselling and the such. I'm here because I'm not sure whether my relationship is abusive or not. Sounds stupid, but what I mean is, I'm not sure whether I should try again, or whether the adage is true that if he's hit you once, it'll continue on forever. I'd really appreciate some thoughts.

many thanks.

Karen

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
In reply to: humangoal
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 10:42am
You have done the right thing, please stay where youare at and do not go back. If you go back it will only increase his sense of power over you and chances are the abuse will get worse. I kicked my stbx out in the summer and then let him back and the next months were the worst in my life and I regretted every minute i let him back until I finally got the courage to leave myself. You are indeed being abused and the old adage is true, as everyone here will tell you. Please read the articles and find out how to stay out and away from him. Remember you have most definately done the right thing and you must keep in mind that going back will only make things worse NOT better. My prayers are with you, hugs for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: humangoal
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 11:21am
If I may throw my two cents worth in.