im leaving

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
im leaving
12
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 6:23pm
hes stayed home the last couple days (he can work from home if he wants sometimes), i know its because he thinks i will leave. i'm packed and ready and he has no idea, but he hid my keys and i wanted to find them. i looked in his dressers and i found a gun! i didn't think he had one. He knows how much they scare me, i dont know for how long he's had it but that makes me so scared. i found my extra key for my vehicle but when i go the garage will open and it will probably wake him up so he'll know right away. thanks for your thoughts and prayers i'll message whenever i can to let you all know i'm fine. i'm terrified so much but i got to do this he being relentless. Thanks again -jj

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Avatar for azmommy35
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 6:35pm
Hi Sweetie. I sure wish I could be there to hold your hand. I know you're scared and I'm scared for you. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be careful -- and if for some reason he does catch you going out the door, drive directly to your nearest police station. I cannot tell you how frightened I was to read what you found in his drawer. Oh gosh jj...that is SO scary. We're all praying for you and sending our support and love your way. Please let us know when you get somewhere safe or if we can help you in any way~~super hugs and much support your way dear...we're all pulling for you
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 7:55pm
JJ, I am glad you are getting out, but make sure, this is the final time, no going back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 8:06pm
JJ,

Way to go girl on making this decision - very smart. Now, stay smart. DO NOT ACT DIFFERENTLY. You may think he knows nothing, but the fact that he's staying home probably means he's got "a feeling" about something.

What's your back-up plan if things go wrong with Plan A? You must have a back-up plan that you can put into action immediately if the first plan fails for any reason. Saftey first.

In your case, because your guy is such a psycho, you should have a Plan B and a Plan C. Keep them in your head only. Keep things very, very simple. Be smart. Stay smart so you can stay alive, right?

You are way, way stronger than you think. I know you can do this.

Do whatever is necessary to stay alive. Be creative in the event of an emergency. Try very hard not to let your emotions take over. Be very calculating, very clear headed, OK?

You are doing this! Good for you!

We are all with you in spirit! You have so many angels around you sweetie - you just don't even know the half of it!

(((hugs)))

Hummer

Avatar for silvermoon458
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 8:29pm

Dear JJ,


I am so proud of your courage.


As the others have told you, you are not alone as you make this big step. All of us here are pulling for you. We are keeping you in our daily thoughts and prayers. I will not stop until I know for sure that you are safe.


May God keep you safe, dear lady.


Christine


Outside ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field. I will meet you there. -- Rumi
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 9:30pm
JJ~Like Hummer said, please be careful about the way you act around him....he might already be suspicious AND he has a gun. I'll be praying for you...please stay safe and get out as QUICK as you can!!!! but only when safe. Hopefully he'll leave soon and it will make it safer!!

Please post and let us know.....I'll be worried and thinking about you until then!

dharma

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 9:27am
Honey, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Run like hell!!!!!! Be brave, be level-headed, stay strong and arrive safely at your destination. God will be walking with you, that much I know. Please post when you can. I'm sure I speak for all of us here when I say that you'll be on our minds until we hear from you. Love and prayers comin' at ya from New Jersey

mo 7-18-10

Avatar for buffphone
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 9:59am
Please listen to what everyone has been saying, please be careful. And I agree, if he's hanging around, he knows something is up.

Another way to get out is to call the police, quickly but accuratly tell them what is going on, that you have now found a gun and you need to be taken from your home now to a safe house.

You can have a police escort to go back and get your car and things, but right now you need to be gone with as much official help as possible.

He's armed, he dangerous and it is now quite evident that he will use lethal force to keep his secret from being discovered.

If needed, e-mail someone you trust to call the police for you and have them come get you with at least two back-up officers. He's now armed and dangerous and you need to get free.

Be safe JJ

Hugs

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 10:30am
JJ, honey, I'm so glad you're finally leaving that a$$hole!!! Please, please, please be careful. There's no telling what he's capable of.

I know you're not "supposed" to know about the gun, but believe me when I tell you this -- If you stay with him, you *will* find out about it, and not in a very nice way.

Please don't back down now . . . follow through with your plan quickly, calmly and quietly. And, above all, make SURE he doesn't know! Please post as soon as you can to let all of us know you're safe -- we'll be worrying about you, girl! Take care of you!!!

Love & ((((BIG HUGS)))),

Emm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 1:20pm
huge hugs jj and like everyone said already, be careful and be safe. Go to a shelter, or somewhere else where he CANNOT find you. He is extremely dangerous and I am afraid for you if he finds you this time. He hurt you so badly the last time he found you. Make sure you go where he can't find you and don't contact him at all. You need to contact the police and reinstate or reinforce your restraining order. He is way too dangerous!! Is there anyway that you can call the police for an escort? This way, they'll be there when you open that garage door.

******* If you already have a protection order, you should contact the police and inform them that you found a gun. When I had a protection order against my stbx, he was ordered to not possesses any kind of firearms while the order was in place. This is so very important, make sure it is one of your first phone calls.*******

I totally understand what you are going through right now, I snuck out of my house after grabbing my 1 1/2 yo and had the car packed. I also had to sneak away from him, I didn't have a carseat in the car, or shoes for my baby, but I didn't care - I ran. It was the only way I could do it.

Please please please be careful. Cover your tracks, don't contact him! you need to go into hiding for a little while that's why a shelter would be your best bet. It would be a safe place for you to stay while you decided on your next moves. They also have counselors there and are a wonderful resource for any assistance (legal, housing, etc.)that might be out there. The can help you figure out what you need to do to protect yourself.

I will keep you in my pryaers!

jenny

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 1:33pm
I got out a lot like you did Rock and I pray that JJ can too. My STBX did hear the garage door go up. I had snatched some of the kids' pj's out of the laundry basket on the table and hustled them quitely out to the car. He was in the driveway when he heard the garage door go up and I knew I had no choice but to gun it into reverse. I ran over my bicycle and he got behind the car and forced me to stop (he's 6'5 275). I hit the gas and got the heck out! I ended up hiding out at a distant relative's house for awhile and getting life together. But JJ, don't worry about ANYTHING but getting safe. I do hope you didn't put the gun back where he can find it. Oh, JJ there are so many prayers out there for you right now. Please get safe at your first chance. Once you start- don't turn back for any reason- you are running for your life.

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