What more can i do???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
What more can i do???
4
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 9:37am
Hi all. I just have a question. My stbxh is taking the girls tonight and Friday and I know he is gonna have them around Crystal, the druggy. What are my options to make it so they are NOT around her? I can't believe he can't go a few hours without having her around. I don't know if he does it to hurt me or make me mad, but I can't send my kids with him without worrying about them being around her. Also, how confusing is it to my kids to see him with her. I used to be like best friends with her years ago. She was there for the birth of both of my kids. I know she hangs on him and kisses on him while their there. How do you explain that daddy is dating crystal, who used to be mommy and daddys friend. At least my situation isn't as confusing. We go back to court on March 2 since he continued the case. I am going this time regardless of if she goes or not. If I have to I will get a police escort in and out of the courtroom or I'll bring my BF who can't stand crystal and my stbxh. Any suggestions welcome. I just don't know what to do. I hate this whole situation. I sometimes think going back would solve all my problems, other then my being happy. At least the kids would be happy to be with their daddy. I don't know how much more I can take. Christina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 10:37am

Well honestly, Im not real sure as towhat to say where the kids are concerned if they are around Crystal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 10:42am
Christina,

Do you have an attorney yet? If not, GET ONE NOW!!! You need to have a formal custody order in place governing custody and visitation of your kids. Often, the Court can specify in the order that certain people cannot be present when the non-custodial parent exercises visitation. In other words, the Judge can order your STBXH to stay away from Crystal when he has the girls! If he violates that portion of the Order (or any other part of it, for that matter), the Court can hold him in contempt.

Also, please don't make the mistake of thinking that you have to wait for your divorce to be final before filing for custody. I'm not sure how Florida law works, but here in Pennsylvania, divorce and custody are two *completely* separate issues. So, even though you're still technically married to STBXH, you can still sue him for custody of the girls. Chances are, you and he will be able to come to an agreement and you won't have to go to trial. (If you do come to an agreement regarding custody and visitation, the agreement can state that Crystal is not to be around the girls, too.)

Check with the Florida Bar Association to see if there are any attorneys in your area who would be able to take your case at a reduced fee, or even pro bono. You never know what you might find out!

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

Love & Hugs,

Emm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 11:20am
Tanks wishful. I have no intentions of going by anywhere. I am going to let them go this week, but after court, if he can't stop seeing her when my girls are there, he won't see them till we go to court for the divorce. He keeps telling me his mom got him a lawyer and I guess he had an appointment yesterday so I don't know if I'll get served or not. I am just at a loss as to what to do about them being around her. If it was anyother girl, I don't think it would bother me. She has been saying for probably the last 2 1/2 years that if she wanted John, she could have him and she is just eating up the fact that she is with MY husband. She is the biggest piece of s%$t, she is a theif, a slut, a druggy and so many other nasty things. Oh it just infuriates me the more I think about it. Christina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 11:39am
BTW, Christina -- I meant to say this in my last post, but forgot to:

LET HER HAVE HIM!!! They deserve each other, don't they?!?! I mean, really -- they're two peas in a pod. They're both losers, and will never amount to anything anyway. Honey, you are soooo much better than that! Do what's best for you *and* your girls -- just write him off for good, and be happy with Kevin! :oP

Luvya,

Emm