please advice!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
please advice!!
2
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 3:17pm
Well, I almost screwed things up with Kevin, all because I still love John. It all started yesterday when I was out looking for a new truck. One of Johns friends saw me and he called me up chewing me out and questioning me on how i can afford it and just giving me the third degree. Well Kevin called in and got mad because I didn't just hang up on John. I am just worried about what he'll do if I get him mad enough. He has already threatenend Kevin and to come to my house and I am just so sick of everything. I sometimes wish I would have just stayed with my stbx and stayed miserable, then at least I wouldn't have to worry about making others miserable. My best friend asked me last night if i was honestly gonna go back to john, either now or in the future and it scared me because I couldn't honestly answer no. He has got some kind of hold on me. I know he treats me like s&%t, degrades me, yells at me, shows me no respect, yet i still love him. I wsish i could give kevin my whole heart, but i am so worried about getting hurt or hurting him. I know he loves me more then John ever did, or at least he shows me he does. i just don't know how much more of John Kevin can take. If i hang up on John he calls back continuously. I did by a notebook that I am gonna document everything that gets said and done between us and the kids. Thanks for letting me vent again. Christina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 3:51pm

Hi Christina -


I am so sorry you're being torn like this.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-28-2004 - 8:52am
I agree with cl-blueliner...I also think you should be honest with Kevin about what's going on with you so he can at least make his decisions based on the truth.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou