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| Sun, 02-29-2004 - 12:15pm |
Hi,
I just want to say thank you all very much for the advice. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I feel like its absolutely impossible. I tried to break up with him but I feel like I don't even have the heart. I almost wish he could just do something really bad, so it would be easier. I still do love him and that is obviously what makes this so difficult. He just started crying and telling me how much I meant to him and he would do whatever it took to make it better. I tried to say I think even if things did get better that he would need to just do it by himself. But he said that he wanted me there to help him through it. I mean I guess we arent together we are apart in different states. This is just so very difficult. I think that everyone made me see that there is a good chance things won't change but it hard for me just accept it I guess because I really do feel like he would do what it takes and try and change. Well, I guess this will have to happen in steps because I do probably know in the back of my head what needs to happen.
I just want to say thank you all very much for the advice. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I feel like its absolutely impossible. I tried to break up with him but I feel like I don't even have the heart. I almost wish he could just do something really bad, so it would be easier. I still do love him and that is obviously what makes this so difficult. He just started crying and telling me how much I meant to him and he would do whatever it took to make it better. I tried to say I think even if things did get better that he would need to just do it by himself. But he said that he wanted me there to help him through it. I mean I guess we arent together we are apart in different states. This is just so very difficult. I think that everyone made me see that there is a good chance things won't change but it hard for me just accept it I guess because I really do feel like he would do what it takes and try and change. Well, I guess this will have to happen in steps because I do probably know in the back of my head what needs to happen.
Thanks everyone

He already did something really bad, for one thing he gave you a blackeye. How much worse does it have to get? Do you want him to beat you up sp badly you end up in hospital?
Please sweetheart, don't listen to him when he tells you how much you mean to him, he'll say whatever it takes to get you back, and he probably knows what works on you. And if he cries, he's only crying for the same reason a child would cry when it doesn't get a toy - they know crying works.
Be strong Candy, and try your best to detach yourself from these emotional games of his. Reasoning with him is probably useless, unfortunately. It is best not to speak to him at all. you can't "save him". only he can. He doesn't deserve another second of your time. Do not feel sorry for him, that's exaclty what he wants you to do.
I know this must be so hard! My heart really does go out to you.
How frequently do you talk to him?