I'm back from my appointment

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
I'm back from my appointment
2
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 1:20pm
Well, I got back a little while ago from a 2 hour meeting with my attorney. Initially, he was about 15 minutes late....and I was about to get up and walk out...my heart was thumping. He came in, and I was thinking "I'm about to fork over HOW much money...and you're late???"....then he said the appointment was for 10:30 NOT 10 am....case of jitters? LOL.

We went over the reasons for the complaint summons. Its a process....we could expediate it...but that costs MORE money and he doesn't recommend it UNLESS there is physical abuse or severe harrassment or abuse to the kids (none of which is met in my situation). I'm a bit uncomfortable with the "reasons" because its going to a) piss off the h and b) well, they are not so much true. (i.e....he refuses to have sex with me, refuses to socialize with me...as well as a LONG list of others). I vocalized my concern to the atty (who has been in practice for 20 years) and he basically explained how this works. In NY, there is no such thing as 'irrecouncilible differences" you have to "grounds" to file. You just can't say your h is a "mean a$$hole". Also, despite the education of judicial officials, many do NOT see domestic abuse unless it is physical. So, that leaves me to file under "cruel and inhumane treatment". Well, there are limitations to what the JUDGES see as "cruel and inhumane".....which is why he listed both of those. He also said that many people make up stuff just to avoid having their petition denied (Because a divorce CAN be denied if the grounds are unfounded) then we would have to separate for a year and then REFILE again.....again, MORE MONEY.

By the end of the meeting I was feeling better about all this...but still wondering how the HECK am I going to do this. I have to fill out an extensive Financial Statement that goes over everything. I will meet again with him in 7-10 days to pay the retainer, review the summons, discuss where to serve him and give back the financial form. I'm calm and a wreck all at the same time.

My dd's surgery for tubes tomorrow? Postponed! Of course....the dr. is sick, so its rescheduled to 3/9. My h said she got a "reprieve". He was also pissed as heck that I took her into daycare today.

I told my h we needed to talk tonight...so we are going out around 6:30 pm. He asked if this "was about getting divorced" and I said 'yes'. So we shall see.

Man, this all so crazy......

thanks everyone for your thoughts and positive comments...I have such a headache now think I'll hang out with the little ones and eat some junk food.

dharma

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 1:58pm
Wow, Dharma, you just took one gigantic step.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-02-2004 - 11:42pm
dharma...I haven't been on the board as much lately because of work obligations, but I've wanted to tell you that I had tubes put in my ears when I was 18 or 19 years old.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou