horrible realisations
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| Wed, 03-03-2004 - 9:24am |
i was taking my daughter to school on the bus this morning, and she was saying to me that she's really glad that my partner has gone, but that she's always nervous about coming back in case he's there waiting for us. i asked her if she was scared of him, and she said no not really - only when he threatens to punch her. what? i asked. apparantly, the times he was looking after her whilst i was a work, in order to keep her line, he would use threats! i didn't realise. i honestly didn't realise how bad it was. i've read most of the posts here over the past couple of weeks, and have started to do some research into abusive relationships. i honestly believed that the violence wasn't too bad. i mean, you get a pasting once or twice a year - that's not so bad is it. but i've suddenly started to realise that that wasn't all that was going on at all. my daughter and i have been living our lives around him, trying our best not to get him into a bad mood. being told we're useless, unbalanced, stupid etc. etc.
now i'm left wondering. he says he's not aware of when he's violent - says he thinks it must be psychosis (his excuse for denying the fact that he hit me at all i think) but there's no addressing of all the other stuff he did. he doesn't admit any of what he's done to my daughter - except to say that he knows that shouting at her is not the right way forward. but he does know - doesn't he. does he do it on purpose? and will he do it to my son who he continues to have contact with?

The side effects are LONG lasting, I am 32 and was 10 when this occurred. Look into www.womenineed.org and www.womanabuseprevention.com
best wishes