horrible realisations

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
horrible realisations
1
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 9:24am
just on again for another moan. have been away from my partner for 2 weeks now. don't feel so bad today - well i haven't broken down in tears. no hiding myself away in the tiolet at work for me today!

i was taking my daughter to school on the bus this morning, and she was saying to me that she's really glad that my partner has gone, but that she's always nervous about coming back in case he's there waiting for us. i asked her if she was scared of him, and she said no not really - only when he threatens to punch her. what? i asked. apparantly, the times he was looking after her whilst i was a work, in order to keep her line, he would use threats! i didn't realise. i honestly didn't realise how bad it was. i've read most of the posts here over the past couple of weeks, and have started to do some research into abusive relationships. i honestly believed that the violence wasn't too bad. i mean, you get a pasting once or twice a year - that's not so bad is it. but i've suddenly started to realise that that wasn't all that was going on at all. my daughter and i have been living our lives around him, trying our best not to get him into a bad mood. being told we're useless, unbalanced, stupid etc. etc.

now i'm left wondering. he says he's not aware of when he's violent - says he thinks it must be psychosis (his excuse for denying the fact that he hit me at all i think) but there's no addressing of all the other stuff he did. he doesn't admit any of what he's done to my daughter - except to say that he knows that shouting at her is not the right way forward. but he does know - doesn't he. does he do it on purpose? and will he do it to my son who he continues to have contact with?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 10:05am
As a child I witnessed my mother being hit and verbally abused and I was sexually and verbally abused. . For years I repressed theses memories, until I started dating an emotinally abusive man, he was controlling jealous and he used S & M game to punish me I actually believed he was helping me. You and your children are in a dangerous situation. GET HELP FOR ALL OF YOU.

The side effects are LONG lasting, I am 32 and was 10 when this occurred. Look into www.womenineed.org and www.womanabuseprevention.com

best wishes