this was the last straw.......i hope????

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2003
this was the last straw.......i hope????
5
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 11:24am
on monday my ex called me and asked to see the kids . since i thought he was sincere, i agreed to bring them to his mother's house . when i got there he was acting distant and asked to ride with me to grab something to eat. i let him in the vehicle and as soon as we got up the street his rage set in . he started calling me names and i had just bought a new car stereo about 3 weeks ago . well he punched the face of the stereo and smashed it , punched my dashboard , spit directly in my face , and then jumped out of the car and kicked the back of it leaving a large dent. i got out of the vehicle to examine the dent and i screamed at him and then spit back at him , in anger he rushed towards me and forcefully kicked me in the stomach leaving me breathless. i immediately dialed 911. i waited and led the officer to him . he had his mother pick him up , the police stopped the car and handcuffed him. my 4 yr old son and 21 mo old daughter were in the vehicle with me the whole time . i feel just horrible having to have them witness that. he was then brought to the police station were he was charged with assault . yesterday i finally went to domestic abuse in my area and filed for a pfa. next thursday 3/11 is our court date . i have a temporary order right now and his probation officer was also given a copy. he had told me that my ex is in the prison for both what he did to me and for a hot urine. i felt such relief after i had filed yesterday and now today i feel utter guilt. i am starting the missing him , wanting everything to be okay stage. i am trying to be strong and follow throught with this all the way . please help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 11:56am

I'm proud of you Trisha.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 12:26pm
You know what I keep thinking? Episodes like you just described happen over and over again; and as long as they're in our lives, they're just going to continue to happen. However, if we get rid of them, all of that stops. I know the missing is hard - I've been there. But it has got to be temporary, where the abuse is permanent if you stay.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Wed, 03-03-2004 - 8:04pm
PLEASE BE VERY CAREFUL.My children also witnessed the attack on me, but they are 5 and 7. I am really in no position to give advice, since I am still in the missing him phase, after 2 months. What i can offer is don't break the temp order, by talking to him when he gets out. To this day i wish i would have not spoken to him and kept the ro in place. He blinded me and I let it go. He gave me the "I love you and miss you so much bs and I fed into it. We had been together for 10 years and that makes it so much harder. Please just watch out and continue with the ro. Good Luck. Christina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 12:12am

Trisha, it is only going to be the last straw if YOU say it is.

CL-Blueliner4

Avatar for yurhiness
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 9:50am
First off sweetie!

I am soooo proud of you!

You have done soo much and you did good!

You stood up for yourself!

Second I believe what you are feeling is... (Ironic as it may sound) is normal.

its like moving your trash can (if this makes any sense)

Let's say you keep your trash can under the kitchen sink,

its been there for years,

and each time you go to empty it you find more trash behind the can,

now you gotta get on your hands and knees and get all that crud outta there,

probaby disinfect (you get my meaning),

and one day while bleaching under the sink you find a DIRTY STRAW stuck to the floor and realize...

something has got to change

So you move this trash can to the closet out side of the kitchen lets say the pantry,

you find the change an improvement even beneficial,

less clutter, less cleaning, free's up the cabinet under the sink.

Heck this turns out to be a great idea,

you are so proud of yourself you buy a new trash can with a top, expensive scented trash liners, some glade stick-up's, wow it sure looks clean and oragnized in that closet.

Job well done, you turn off the light in the pantry and you go to bed,

then, the next day as you prepare your morning cup of coffee,

you open a packet of sugar substite and you automatically go to the cabinet under the sink



and you actually throw the empty packets onto your newly organized cleaning products and fresh towels.

I think that is how you are feeling today!

Eventualy you will get used to the trash being where it is supposed to be,

OUTSIDE! (if you understand my analogy),

Stay strong Sweetie,

Stay focused and remember the primary is SAFETY for you and your children.


Peace & Positivity

Yurhiness