Motto for abusers . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Motto for abusers . . .
6
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 3:54pm
I was just reading something and I realized this is a motto for abusers, at least it is with my H . .

... I reject your reality and substitute my own . . .


Hugs,

Jackie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 4:16pm

Oh, I'm really embarrased...


That's my sig line on my other screen name.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 4:44pm
Gabby,

That's where I read it! I have been reading so much today that I forgot!

No, I don't take it as insulting at all! I'm thinking about how my H reacts to things! You know, he does not accept reality at all. He will just 'pull something out of the air' and put it in the place of reality, of what has actually happened. That's one reason (as there are many) that has kept me so confused all these years. He is so good at twisting and turning things around that sometimes I find myself confused as to what actually is the truth.

Please, please don't be upset. I thought it was exactly the way my H thinks. Now I feel bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 4:56pm

Thanks Jackie.


It did upset me.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 5:56pm
Such a great saying going to waste. I totally agree with Jackie. We gave up ourselves to make their reality happy, now we are taking a stand and living on our reality, which by the way is how it should be...nothing wrong with that at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 9:47am
Hey, Gabby! Don't feel bad . . . I though it was kinda cute!

You know, I've been reading this book by Patricia Evans, in which she talks about "Reality I" (being the abuser's reality of "Power Over") and "Reality II" (being our reality of Personal Power). I *do* reject STBXH's reality (Reality I) and I *do* substitute my own (Reality II).

So, I guess that quote can be taken either way, it just depends on how you look at it. And we all know how you intended it to be read, and I think the majority of us read it the same way you do. (I lurk on the NB board from time to time, just to see what's going on "upstairs.")

I reject his reality EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, and I always will! :oD

Love & Hugs,

Emm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 10:12am
Time to make some coffee for everyone! It's interesting coming into this after not being able to get here for a few days,,and to read all the different sides of this.

Huge hugs Gabby,,you didn't mean to hurt anyone, I doubt you could. Hugs to Jackie to help take some of the sting out of it and hugs to cam who is becoming stronger every day.

Actually to me, it shows just how deeply the conditioning runs in us from our abusers. It shows how they not only take our hearts, they trample our souls too. They get us to where we have to fight harder not only for our freedom, but to regain our peace and presence of mind.

It truely shows how they distort us, our minds and how we see everything from written word to sunsets.

Huge Hugs, hot coffee(or chocolate), and serenity for us all!