i am ok

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
i am ok
9
Sat, 03-06-2004 - 7:12am
i don't have much time to write but i needed to let everyone know that i am ok. He is in jail and i am safe. i had a hard time the last week but everything is going to be alright now. Thanks for all of your support and thoughts, it was so appreciated. -jj
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 03-06-2004 - 7:58am
Oh, JJ...I'm OVERJOYED and ECSTATIC with relief!!!! I was just thinking about you the other day and hoping that wherever you were, you were o.k.!!!! Please continue to post and let us know how things are going!

And HOORAY! the S.O.B is in jail!!

dharma

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2001
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 03-06-2004 - 9:02am
Hugs to you jj 25,

I wish you the best life has to offer. Healing takes time, post as often as you can. You are in my thoughts.

Cathy
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 03-06-2004 - 9:28am
JJ, you have no idea how much I have been praying for you and your safety.
Avatar for azmommy35
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 03-06-2004 - 2:31pm
Thank you for letting us know you are ok and safe. We are all here for you whenever you need us. Healing is a long and painful process and some days will be worse than others. I know that I was constantly asking myself when and how I would ever feel "ok" again. Jeepster told me...."time"...in time. Just know that whenever you need a hug or an ear or just a word of kindness, here we are. ~~gentle hugs..the journey of healing begins...
Avatar for buffphone
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sat, 03-06-2004 - 8:12pm
It is so fantastic to hear that you are OK, and he's where he belongs! I can only echo what has already been said by the others!!

But I do have to be me JJ and add this. Not today, not tomorrow, but at some time you will once again doubt your leaving. This is normal, we all have been there and done that and you will too.

When you have a down day, when you wonder if you should have tried again, please, please, please come back here and go through your past posts. Please vent here with us, please ask or disagree with us here, but do it to reinforce all the reasons you did leave!

You are in all our hearts JJ, I do believe I can say we all held our breath, chewed on a few pencils and prayed that you would find safety.

You are just beginning what will be the most wonderful journey into your life. I am so sad that you had to go through what you did, but I pray that it made you stronger and see that you are worth so much more to the world than to be someone's abuse victim.

Breathe the fresh air of freedom JJ, shout it from the rooftops! And when those down days come, call your counselor, vent with us, resist the temptations we've all felt and never let anyone ever treat you less that the beautiful woman you are!

Hugs

Avatar for silvermoon458
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sun, 03-07-2004 - 12:16pm

JJ, I am so happy to hear from you and to know that you are safe. You have been in my prayers.


Stay safe, sweetie. Reach out for support and love. You deserve it.


Hugs!


Christine


Outside ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field. I will meet you there. -- Rumi
Avatar for tia_c24
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Sun, 03-07-2004 - 5:28pm
Hi jj, its been a while since i've posted to you and i haven't been keeping up here with others. I'm glad to hear that you're safe and ok. I still think about you and have wondered how you have been. I hope and pray he leaves you alone for good. Hugs, Tia.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: jj_25
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 10:57am
JJ,

I too am so glad to hear that you are alive. What wonderful news!

Buff said it so well, the healing journey is one with many ups and downs and bumps in the road and, yes, we all have had doubts about whether we tried hard enough to make the relationship work. Was I too hard on him? Should I have given him another chance, etc., etc., And the fact of the matter is that there would never be enough chances or enough days to make him change. He is what he is. He is an abuser. He has chosen this and whether or not he chooses to change really has nothing to do with you.

I know that sounds weird and maybe it's even hard to hear. We like to think of ourselves as the great rescuers, the heros who've *stuck it out long enough* to really make a difference, really helped some sick person to get better. But the reality is, we are not God. And helping the other person to *get better* is not our job. It's not our job because nobody is qualified or sufficiently capable of doing it exept HIM.

This is tough stuff to internalize. It takes a long time to believe it. That's why getting support is so important. Like me, you may want to immerse yourself in support - books about Abuse, coming every day to this Board, getting a counsellor and seeing her once a week, confiding in friends and family members and touching base with them every single day to help me stay strong. Then I read more books (definitely check out the Patricia Evans book and the Lundy Bancroft book from your local library - and if they don't have them, ask them to get them in!), and sought out group support groups. I saturated myself with support. I reached out and got love and comfort and support (the safe variety) from any and every source I could. I took no shame in admitting that I absolutely REQUIRED all the support I could get. I knew I'd never be able to find the strength to stay away and begin to heal all on my own - I needed peoples' help. That's the great thing about this Board. Even those women who have no one, can get an incredible amount of love and comfort and understanding and soothing, just by loggin in and reading what others are going through, posting our own questions, doubts, concerns, etc.

It has been my biggest lifeline - no doubt about it.

JJ, I'm so happy for you and so proud that you found the courage to get out and stay out. That is such a huge accomplishment, I know. And you did it! That is so awesome. As my little 2 year old daughter says, complete with her precious little lisp that makes the "r" sound like "w", *YOU ROCK!*

(((hugs)))

Hummer - Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
In reply to: jj_25
Tue, 03-09-2004 - 1:04pm
JJ,

I am so glad to see that you are safe and well. Keep your head up and huge hugs to you. Please feel free to keep us posted. We will all be thinking of you.

Reemeow