I DID IT - - -
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| Wed, 03-10-2004 - 5:14pm |
So, I did. I was put on hold. The person who answered the phone, sounded very busy, I was trying to explain my situation, she told me about a couple of support groups and when they meet and that I could come in for 1 on 1 counseling and that they do have legal advice once a week. Sure I could set up to come in for any of it. But as many of you know - I have a real hard time with the going there. I know, it's the only way to get help. I have to figure out how to go to someone.
So, I was sort of melancholy all day. I actually told someone at work that I was trying to make the call, no not the co-worker I'm 'involved' with, another co-worker who seems to have a compassionate and understanding shoulder. Anyway - he asked me again today if I had called, I said yes but that I didn't really get a 'cozy warm feeling' from them.
So, all afternoon I was sitting at my desk with a card from the Employee Assistance Program on my desk. It says they have 24/7 help for employees.
Ok. I called. I have an appointment on March 23rd. I will probably tell my dh that I have to go to my daughters school to get some information on college's from her guidance counselor, see, I won't be completely lieing - I'll be seeing a counselor! And I do have to go to the school for that anyway. And I know that he won't want to do that - so I should be all set.
So - don't let me chicken out. Right now, I'm feeling pretty positive about this. I don't want to loose the momentum. I don't want to be in this same predicament in a year from now. I have never said that before. I'm saying it now. I have to do something to change my life because there isn't going to be any knight in shining armor galloping in on his white horse to swoop me away, I will just have to take ahold of those reins and lead my own horse to where I want to be.
Oh, I have to do this. I can do this. And silver, if your reading, I am trying to stay clean with the person at work that I have been involved with. I know it isn't a healthy realtionship for either of us. At least I have recognized that I'm not happy in my marriage, but he hasn't and I know that was has occurred between us is definitely cheating on our respective spouses.
I feel like I'm jumping, I know I should do small steps so I don't fall backwards, but I think I may have to just take the plunge. I know that I'll be ok.
Time is a wonderful thing.
And this board and all of you here.
Hugs to you all
Pam

Oh, Ples, that is WONDERFUL!
CL-Blueliner4
I am cheering, Pam, that you have taken this
Making the moves is what it is all about. If you have to, just go on autopilot for a while, go to the counselor, do what they say...it all works. You are going to go through a ton of emotions once you start this process. It's important to feel for yourself every day and not rush anything. If your counselor is good, he/she will take you through the steps and you have to follow them to eventually become to your own true self. The sunshine is around the corner!
Email me anytime, I am deep into school right now but occasionally drop in here to read up. I have my first work term and am being placed at a shelter for young women..it encompasses preganat teens, runaways, teen running from abuse of all kinds..I am so excited. My marks have consistently been in the high 90's and I am doing so well all around.
love and hugs Ples...
sue