I DID IT - - -

Avatar for ples62
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I DID IT - - -
4
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 5:14pm
I didn't make the call on Monday. I did make 2 calls on Tuesday and I made 1 call today. On Tuesday, I called the shelter that was recommended to me here, I was having a hard time trying to tell them what I needed, but managed to say enough. She asked me where I was calling from and she said that they would not be able to help me, they would have to refer me to the local shelter so rather than trying to spill everything to them and then again to the local shelter, she recommended that I call the local shelter.

So, I did. I was put on hold. The person who answered the phone, sounded very busy, I was trying to explain my situation, she told me about a couple of support groups and when they meet and that I could come in for 1 on 1 counseling and that they do have legal advice once a week. Sure I could set up to come in for any of it. But as many of you know - I have a real hard time with the going there. I know, it's the only way to get help. I have to figure out how to go to someone.

So, I was sort of melancholy all day. I actually told someone at work that I was trying to make the call, no not the co-worker I'm 'involved' with, another co-worker who seems to have a compassionate and understanding shoulder. Anyway - he asked me again today if I had called, I said yes but that I didn't really get a 'cozy warm feeling' from them.

So, all afternoon I was sitting at my desk with a card from the Employee Assistance Program on my desk. It says they have 24/7 help for employees.

Ok. I called. I have an appointment on March 23rd. I will probably tell my dh that I have to go to my daughters school to get some information on college's from her guidance counselor, see, I won't be completely lieing - I'll be seeing a counselor! And I do have to go to the school for that anyway. And I know that he won't want to do that - so I should be all set.

So - don't let me chicken out. Right now, I'm feeling pretty positive about this. I don't want to loose the momentum. I don't want to be in this same predicament in a year from now. I have never said that before. I'm saying it now. I have to do something to change my life because there isn't going to be any knight in shining armor galloping in on his white horse to swoop me away, I will just have to take ahold of those reins and lead my own horse to where I want to be.

Oh, I have to do this. I can do this. And silver, if your reading, I am trying to stay clean with the person at work that I have been involved with. I know it isn't a healthy realtionship for either of us. At least I have recognized that I'm not happy in my marriage, but he hasn't and I know that was has occurred between us is definitely cheating on our respective spouses.

I feel like I'm jumping, I know I should do small steps so I don't fall backwards, but I think I may have to just take the plunge. I know that I'll be ok.

Time is a wonderful thing.

And this board and all of you here.

Hugs to you all

Pam

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: ples62
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 5:20pm

Oh, Ples, that is WONDERFUL!

CL-Blueliner4

Avatar for silvermoon458
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: ples62
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 6:16pm

I am cheering, Pam, that you have taken this

Outside ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field. I will meet you there. -- Rumi
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
In reply to: ples62
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 6:51pm
Hey Pam,

Making the moves is what it is all about. If you have to, just go on autopilot for a while, go to the counselor, do what they say...it all works. You are going to go through a ton of emotions once you start this process. It's important to feel for yourself every day and not rush anything. If your counselor is good, he/she will take you through the steps and you have to follow them to eventually become to your own true self. The sunshine is around the corner!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: ples62
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 1:49pm
Ples I am so proud of you! what you did was a HUGE step in finding your way! If you need to keep the momentum going, read this again and again. One step at a time and you will get there my dear friend.

Email me anytime, I am deep into school right now but occasionally drop in here to read up. I have my first work term and am being placed at a shelter for young women..it encompasses preganat teens, runaways, teen running from abuse of all kinds..I am so excited. My marks have consistently been in the high 90's and I am doing so well all around.

love and hugs Ples...

sue