He wants to move out?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
He wants to move out?????
2
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 5:16pm
Ok, he's really in a frenzy now that he knows I'm serious. He's gone to a friend who's been divorced to talk with him (who warned him that if he didn't stop being so controlling, he would end up divorced....this was 5 years ago!), he's talked to the priest who married us and is now a member of the Tribunal (in the Catholic Church....they are the MEN who decide if the marriage has grounds to be "annulled"--don't even GO THERE! lol), and to one of our teamleaders from Retrouvaille. He then tells me this a.m. that when people ask him my reasons why for divorcing he says to me "I tell them that I am contolling and I have been abusive." pause "What else?" I just looked at him and thought "he doesn't even KNOW" and you know what? he NEVER WILL!!

Anyway, I'm rambling...he wants to move out...tomorrow....my birthday :-( he wants to separate. I told him no, seperating was no longer an option...it was now and only, divorce. He got a bit angry and I told him "look I'm not misleading you...its done...I'm divorcing you. And before you move out, I suggest you get a lawyer to look at those implications". I know that was probably stupid of me to tell him...but I never want to be accused of trying to screw him (which he'll probably do anyway).

At this point, I'm just like "just go, get your stuff and get out"...but I think he thinks that there still is a chance of making it better. Once he gets the summons he will be pissed as hell.

Anyone who's btdt that can offer any advice, thoughts?

To make matters worse, he talked to the kids last night, behind my back when I told him NOT TO (because he can't stop crying)...he apologized for being so crappy to them, and then told them "I guess your mother doesn't want me around anymore" and starting crying. Well, I don't find this out to this morning, when my oldest asks to talk to me after school and I had a feeling he had done this. When I asked him at lunch time (he loves to come and make me feel worse) he said yes...that he told them this and I told him he shouldn't have done this to them. So I talked to my older girls (16 and 13) they see what's going on...and seem o.k. with it. They have seen me sleeping downstairs, on the floor, for the past 9 months and KNOW something is amiss. And as my older dd put "What's going to change..he's never home and when he is, he's miserable....it will just be better". (but I know she was still upset by it.....)

Sigh...some birthday this will be. But on the bright side, 2 of my dd's have off from school tomorrow so I am planning to take them up to Toronto for the day to visit the Science museum up there...at least I'll spend with 3 of my kids and enjoy myself...hopefully the weather will cooperate!!

dharma

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 5:51pm

Oof, Dharma.

CL-Blueliner4

Avatar for ples62
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 9:17pm
Hang in there dharma - your doing fine. Keep track of everything and stay strong. You were absolutely correct in being honest with him.

Happy Birthday and enjoy the day with your dd's!!

Pam