Unhappy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Unhappy
1
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 9:05am
Whelp, he did it again. Blew up and started cussing just because my 17 y.o. ds stepped over a bag of garbage this morning and didn't pick it up and take it on his way out the door this morning. This was all with me and our 2 1/2 y.o. dd in the room. I told him he was being ridiculous and mean and to stop blowing up like that in front of our dd. He is jealous of my ds - I wish I had of known I wouldn't of married him - of course he didn't start showing his true colors until right before we were married. I'm going to have to divorce him - I know it's coming. I won't put up with this for that long - my ds doesn't deserve it, and neither do the rest of us. I even know it's bad for him to act that way. How can they say they love you, then act like that. He's sitting at work with a pounding headache right now - that he gave to himself, and I'm sure is blaming it on me and/or my ds. What a jerk. I treat dh the best I can - I'm sorry if he has to work a little sometimes. We are under a tremendous amount of stress right now because of my job - I help the Legislature do the budget, and we're in the middle of "crisis mode". I just hate another divorce it will be hardest on our little girl - and don't tell me it's best for her that we do that - it wasn't for my ds even though me and his dad were fighting alot. The sad thing is I blame myself - if I were prettier, made more money, didn't have such a stressful job, etc. it would be better. I know that's a typical reaction for somebody being abused - so if you tell me that you'll not be telling me anything new. He is probably fine 90% of the time - it's the other 10% I could easily throw him to a pack of wild dogs. One other thing stopping me is we just got a brand new $37,000 truck - and the loan is in my name and it's coming out of my paycheck. Anybody got any suggestions?? I know I'm liable for it even if our divorce papers were to say it's his responsibility. I'm stuck with $1000 on my ex's truck that he wrecked, and then defaulted on about a year after our divorce. My mind keeps torturing me - and I know it's because it makes him feel better to control me, or somebody - but the why?why?why? that keeps going over and over in my mind that's driving me nuts. How can you say you love somebody, and then act like that? I bend over backwards to be nice to him about his son who he had taken away from him because his ex wife is mean. I expect some return respect from him. He's being mean and a jerk and there's absolutely no reason for it. He has a job that's easier than mine right now, a nice home, all kinds of animals, and plenty of momey but he still acts like that. I know I'll end this probably sooner than later, but I ache for the impact it will have on our dd because I know he'll eventually shut her out of his life, and she's nuts about him. He's a creep and a jerk. There, thank you, now I feel better! Please do not blast me I don't need that right now. Just lots of hugs...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2002
In reply to: chic45
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 9:57am
Sell the truck