What do I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
What do I do?
6
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 4:10pm
I recently ended a relationship with this guy that I have been involved with on and off for 2 years. Throughout the 2 year span, he has put me down calling me names or joking around with me when I am trying to be serious, he has touched me in places where I didnt want him to and he wouldn't stop, he has punched me only once on my arm when he was drunk, and he has pushed me down on several occasions. I don't know if this can be considered as abuse, but I don't know. He is an RA at my school and well-known. There has been reports that he had attempted rape on a girl last september. The girl no longer goes to the school so I have no way of talking to her. I told my parents and they wanna call the dean of my college. I told my best friend and she just wants to nail him for it. He has been violent in public but not to me. There was an incident where he got mad that I didnt have any change on me for a soda that he wanted to buy so he threw his money accross the floor. My roommate witnessed this. After I broke up with him I received prank calls from his friends and I got harrassed online as well. I didnt save anything cuz I was so mad that I blocked the people that harrassed me. I don't know what to do. Is this considered abuse? And if it is, what do I do about it? I'm young, I'm only 21 years old and I just feel alone in this world. I'm kind of scared too.

Someone please help me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2004
In reply to: mskitty1982
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 6:14pm
He is defienitely abusive. Stay away from him!

Is he still harassing you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: mskitty1982
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 6:34pm

Hi, MsKitty, and welcome -


Alcohol does not an abuser make.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
In reply to: mskitty1982
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 7:15pm
not as frequently, every now and then I get one of his friends IMming me and harrassing me, but it hasnt happend in the last few days.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
In reply to: mskitty1982
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 7:20pm
thanks for your reply. I am still kind of scared and my dad plans to call the deans office on monday.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mskitty1982
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 2:24am

Hi Mskitty…please be sure to read the checklists of abuse on our board’s homepage so you can be clear about what you’re dealing with.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2004
In reply to: mskitty1982
Sun, 03-14-2004 - 9:54am
I too was in a situation just as you are. There is no straight answer, I can just support you in your decisions.

You don't know it yet..But you are in charge of this situation.

I had to hide my clothes behind my drafting board waiting for a chance to get away. I made all kinds of plans and FEAR kept me in one spot.

My life changed because I chose it to.

My children lived in this situation for years.That is the only thing that I apologize for. Not using my power to leave.

Remember your power!! You are not alone.Leaving was your first step. I'm so proud of you.

NEXT????

Pati