Mindless wanderings while hibernating

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Mindless wanderings while hibernating
7
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 1:01am

When I get stressed out, I hibernate.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 5:53am
Cheryl,

On that hibernating thing...I do that too. Right now way too much, but it's only been 4 months for me. I think there is a little bear in all of us and we need that little den to even things out in our life.

When I look back and try to figure out what made me stay with Wendell, I can't figure it out. No matter what he did to me I assumed I deserved it. I didn't think about leaving him, I just thought this was the way life was. Little by little I am realizing this is not the case...and when those feelings come through, they are great. The question "Why do we stay"? has so many answers. I stayed because I thought that was how life was supposed to be. Yep, and I was afraid of him too. It was like his world and I spent my time trying to be part of that world. He is only one human being on this planet, so why should he have his own world? Time for my world now!

Sun is shining...time to come out of hibernation!!

Terry

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 8:05am
Hi, Cheryl,

I know exactly what you're talking about. Sometimes I just wonder where the day went, because I'm out here just bascially 'existing'. I have never really pin-pointed exactly why I haven't had the guts to leave H for good, but a lot of what you said makes so much sense to me. I'm more afraid of what he and others will think. Every where I go and everything I do I wonder if it's o.k. with him. I worry about if he'll like what I cook, or the color of the pants I got, and every time I turn around I worry about what he'll think. I'm so tired of living life the way he expects me to live it. He's told me his family is more important to him than I am, then he told me it was because I had gone on and on to him about it and that's why he said it. Well, he said it regardless of the reason, and all his actions point to the fact that he actually DOES care more about them than me. I've come to the realization that all these years everything has meant more to him then I do.

I'm getting there, ladies. . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 8:17am
Cheryl~

Thanks so much for posting this.....this is EXACTLY what I needed to read today. You hit it right on the head...about letting fear control us, preventing us from leading our lives--when in reality it does not end up as we think it does. But as long as we are stuck in thinking that it will be "horrible"--it controls us, but when we realize it isn't like that at all--that's when our freedom comes!

Thanks!

dharma

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 12:07pm

I think you are so right on this one.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 12:14pm

Oh, Jackie.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 12:17pm
Dharma, I'm so glad that it helped.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2003
Mon, 03-15-2004 - 5:14pm
Thanks ladies. I know exactly what all of you are talking about. I have been in hibernation ever since my H raised his hands to me last Friday morning. I have gone nowhere or seen anybody except for my FIL. I wander from room to room, soul searching myself for answers. I plan to leave someday if things don't change, but I guess that I have not run out of hope yet. Even though I have friends to talk to, I still feel alone. I sit in front of the computer for hours, just waiting... The things that used to be so important to me have been pushed aside. My children are the only reason that I crawl out of bed every morning.

I am glad that I am not the only one that feels this way.

Harley