Question about boundaries, trust
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Question about boundaries, trust
| Mon, 03-15-2004 - 12:53pm |
Hi all, haven't been around much lately. H and I had another argument last week, and he grabbed my arms, so I am still bruised. Now, he is being over the top honeymoon phase, guilt galore, presents, things around the house, etc. Whatever. I am so clearly seeing it for what it is. Two years ago, he first became physically abusive, after being verbally abusive for a long time. He really attacked me a year ago, and has been in therapy and on meds since then. Yes, there has been some progress this last year, but obviously, not nearly enough. As you all know, I am slowly working on a plan to leave, and am back in school. I have confided in a few friends and close family members about the reality of my marriage. They know I am not ready to leave yet, and most of them really like my H anyway, and understand the reasons why I need to stay at this time. I am a bit angry though, because one person that I trusted and confided in told three other relatives (who are supposedly very mad at H). I didn't feel they needed to know any personal details about my life. As I am currently staying in this marriage, it really would not be helpful to have my relatives saying anything that isn't their business...I mean, these are people I maybe see a couple of times a year. I know that speaking with all of you here has helped me tremendously, as has speaking with people I know IRL...but now I feel betrayed. The person who spilled the beans was sort of defiant, saying that she felt these other relatives had a right to know, since they were family. That was her choice, not mine. I have been very selective with whom I speak about such personal things. What do you all think? I really need support, but I am feeling like I cannot trust this person with private info anymore, which is a shame. I am tired of walking on eggshells with everyone, you know?

Hiya -
I see both sides of the argument here.
CL-Blueliner4
Good Luck girl.
Sarah
I personally have been more lurking than posting here lately myself. I respond to other people's messages but have reached my own conclusions about my marriage and my H which I am not willing to share here but I'm sure you would understand.
People love a good story, don't they???? Nothing like a little gosspip to keep some people occupied. Well, obviously, you can't control the bigmouth's actions. It's a shame she betrayed your trust, though, and I understand your angry feelings. One more person you have to be careful around, just what you need.
You're always in my thoughts and prayers - you and that little guy. Hang in there, honey. I'm glad you're going forward with school, and I hope that's helping your self-esteem issues. Love and hugs from your pal in New Jersey!