My guy proposed but I met somebody

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
My guy proposed but I met somebody
3
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 9:38am
Hi Everyone! Some of you may remember me...but here's an update. My boyfriend proposed to me sat night at my birthday party in front of 30 people. He bought me a gorgeous ring and things have been go as well as can be expected.

I have a friend "K" who I am starting to have feelings for... "K" was working as a server at my party. He was dismayed that i said yes to my boyfriend but offered me a congratulatory hug.

Needless to say later that night my boyfriend got drunk. He accused me of talking to "K" at my party and slammed me against a wall at my cousins house. I ran out to my car and he shattered my windshield on my one year old car with his fist. I was getting in my car and he slammed my leg in the door but i got the heck outta there. I called "K" and i met him at his house. We drove around, talked and i was such a mess...scared to go home. "K" is very sincere and has always been a gracious person.

We kissed--nothing more and I went home to bed but now I am very confused...He's a great listener so you can imagine Im starting to develop some sort of feelings for this person...oh....im very confused.

Last night my boyfriend came begging, crying! oh my god....i felt so guilty. My boyfriend took my car this morning to fix the window. I know I made a mistake by accepting his proposal. i just need to vent and am so scared. If he finds out thats it. thats it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 10:18am
Destruction of personal property.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 12:20pm

Hi sweetie -


Better now than after you get married.

CL-Blueliner4

Avatar for azmommy35
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 5:39pm
Hi Red. I remember your story very well. I also remember the additional details you shared when you replied to another poster. (Specifically that your "guy" has jumped out of a moving vehicle now twice while you were driving down the freeway and that he BIT you in the face). Good Lord sweetie. I wish I could swoop you up and carry you far, far away. You are in very GRAVE DANGER and you should be afraid -- very afraid. It is not "if" he will hurt you badly, it is "when." If you need to use "K" as a reason to escape from this, then do it; although jumping from one relationship to another doesn't truly allow you the perspective to "recognize" and "deal" with where you just came. However, in your case, I am just SO concerned about you getting away from this unpredictable and infinitely dangerous person that I would say to do whatever it is that removes you from him. I know you don't know me honey and I don't know you, but I do know your story...like my own...and so many others...Please listen to what has been suggested. My biggest regret is that I DID marry my abuser and I lived through nearly ten years of the type of drama and horror you have described. The fact that he exploded on the night he proposed and your birthday...oh my...very, very forboding indeed, but, you are quite used to this kind of drama by now aren't you? With him it happens all the time doesn't it? Nothing new...just him losing it again. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. THIS IS ILLEGAL. AND VERY VERY DANGEROUS. The next time someone goes out of a car while it is driving down the freeway, it might just be you. PLEASE, give the ring back and tell him you want no further contact with him. I am praying for you and for your strength to see this situation for what it is -- dangerously abusive. Gentle hugs dear...Please be safe (it is found far, far away from him). ~~~much support and strength your way