Family in Crisis - torn...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Family in Crisis - torn...
4
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 10:24am
I would just like to request your prayers at this time for my sister who has struggled for along time with drug and alcohol issues and now has entered into Detox and is in danger of permanently losing her children. I love my sister dearly but have a difficult time dealing with because of what stbx drug and alchohol problems have done to me and out chldren. He has caused us so much pain as she causes her children and fiance and on one hand I have cut stbx out of my life but try to keep my sister in my life. It is difficult and confusing at best. We were so close once and the thought of her suffering pains me deeply but I am so wary because what she has and is doing to those she loves is very similair to what Steve has done to me and the kids. She lives several provinces away and so I cannot be close to my family at this time but would your help in sending prayers of comfort to both her and my family to ease the anxiety and suffering, especially the confusion of her very dear children who are 6 and 1. Thank you so much for this, i know you ladies have big hearts and and glad to know your prayers will be with us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 11:37am

Oh, honey, this really isn't something you need now.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 12:13pm
My prayers are with you and your sister. I hope everything works out okay for all of you.

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 1:24pm
From one addict/alcoholic to another, I will be praying for your sister. I read your post with great interest, since some of the issues you raised have been occuring to me more and more frequently. I've been in recovery for 18 months now (clean and sober, baby, including weekends!) and I've never felt better. But yes, you raise a really valid point. Your sister's behavior may well be abusive, similar to your H's.

I'm at a point in my recovery where I'm working the 4th step which requires a painstaking moral inventory and it has occurred to me more than once that I was an abuser as well. With drugs and alcohol in my body, I was an unpredictable, sometimes angry, sometimes just crazy, defiant "party girl." I caused alot of people, including myself, harm.

It takes a while after putting down the bottle for the fog to clear and it takes even longer for the brain cells to become fully engaged again. As I've been working my program, I truly do see that alcohol and drugs brought me to a place I could never imagine being in now that I'm clean and sober. And if you've ever had a few too many and you're not an alcoholic, please understand that it's not the same for us: alcoholics/addicts make-ups are different. Putting this substance in our body releases (or should I say "unleashes") the demons. Normal, non-addicts will stop drinking/drugging at a certain point. Their brains kick in and they realize that this isn't good for them. We, on the otherhand, have no concept of stopping until we simply can't drink or drug anymore.

I guess the difference between tolerating your sister's behavior, and tolerating your H's behavior, is in the fallout to you. Active Alcoholics/Addicts need love and support too (as difficult as we make it sometimes) and if your sister isn't ruining your life or acting out in dangerous and unhealthy ways, there's no reason why you wouldn't want to continue loving and supporting her. But when the alcoholic/addict is wreaking havoc in your life, you have every right to shut him/her out! We will cause heartache and chaos for as long as you'll put up with it, so you're wise to take a stand with your H.

As I said, from one addict/alcoholic to another, I will be praying for your sister. God Bless You all.

mo 7-18-10

Avatar for silvermoon458
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 4:36pm

I will keep your sister and her children in my prayers.


By the way, I noticed that you are from Stratford, Ontario. I grew up in Elmira (just outside Waterloo). How nice to see someone from near 'home' here.


Hugs and best wishes,


Christine

Outside ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field. I will meet you there. -- Rumi