1st time, beaten bad

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
1st time, beaten bad
6
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 10:13am
hi, it sadens me to be hear today, but i have not where else to go. i am sitting here with 6 welts on my head, a fat lip, 2 balck eyes, a swollen eyebrow, bruised back, arms, legs, stomach. i fell like a semi truck ran me over. i am going out in a bit to buy a camera to take pictures of myself, and then on monday i am going to see a lawyer.

i am in so much pain right now, it hurts so bad, i litterally saw stars last night! i am so angry, i would have called the cops, but in my state, where the males rule, they take you both to jail. i have a 2 yr old, i could not risk having them take him from me.

i guess i am just so scared, angry and full of mental and physical pain. i just need someone to talk too.

thanks!

ps, does anyone know hoe to conseal the black eyes and swolen face, i need to have some self diginty when i go out side.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 11:25am

Welcome to the board, Msroy2001.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 11:31am
Hugs msroy! Welcome to the board and I hope this information helps.

Please contact your local ER or Domestic Violence shelter as soon as you can. If you cannot find a local shelter call the National Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 and ask them to help you locate one. Your local hospital ER should also have a DV nurse and help there for you. The shelter's offer many more resources than just a safe house. They can help you with legal matters, financial and counseling. Please use the resources they have for you.

While taking pictures is a good idea, please seek medical attention as soon as you possibly can. The ER will also take pictures so if you can, go straight to them first.

You should call your local police and ask for the DV officer or officers. With the condition you are in I doubt they will arrest you. In fact you might want to ask them to take you and your son to the abuse shelter for both your sake or to the hospital.

Your safety and the safety of your son is paramount, please don't wait until Monday to act on this. Seek safety and medical help.

You can also find links and phone numbers on this boards homepage. When it is safe to do so, please go there and read what you can so that you can find all the help you need in this. Learning the dynamics of abuse and using the links that are available to you, you can help yourself to make educated decisions which will help far more than emotional ones.


I hope this helps and I hope you find safety very soon.

Hugs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2004
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 6:53pm
PLEASE GET OUT OF THERE NOW!! It only gets worse it will only hurt more next time. He'll probably say "i'm so sorry-BLAH BLAH BLAH." If you stay you'll hear it again and again, until he doesn't even feel he has to say it anymore. If you don't think you can do it for yourself then do it for your baby. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! And don't look back. I am so scared for you and your baby. He is obviously a very disturbed person that needs help. If you think he'll change for you, stop and thnk how many women before you thought the same thing. There are many places the will help you (even if you're in a small town). I will be thinking about you and sending you positive thoughts. Please get help now before it's too late.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 7:30pm
listen to me... dont' worry about the makeup to cover it up. this is not about you. go out with your black eyes and your wounds and when people ask what happened, tell them your man beat you up.

and don't believe for a moment that even a man-run state will allow fellow men to beat their women. most men see this as a huge failing as a man and won't tolerate it.

take your pictures, go to a lawyer, and get this dick out of your life. get a restraining order, do what you gotta do.

it is the best gift you will ever give yourself.

oh, and when he comes back crying and begging and pleading for another chance? laugh at how pathetic he is and feel pride in yourself that you have stopped the cycle.

it will get much worse if you stay. teach your child to be strong by doing it yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 7:59pm
Hi msroy, I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 12:57am
Hi. I'm new to this board as well. I haven't bean beaten like you have, so far just minor injuries resulting from pushing or things like that. But please, I have a two year old son myself that does not belonge to my pretty much ex, and about three weeks ago he got so angry with him, he picked him up and just screamed in his face. The main problem with that, besides the fact that he did it, was that I could see the anger in his face while he was gritting his teeth. It was the same anger that he had shown be before he had ever touched me. I shudder to think that his anger would ever carry over and he shove my son, or one of my other children like he did me. If he ever did, it would kill them. If that ever happened, well lets just say I'd be in jail right behind him, if he made it that far.

Please, for the sake of your little boy, please get out of there! Take your child and stay at your parents or friends home, try to get your things out of there when he's not there. AND be SURE to take someone else with you!!

All of my prayers and thoughts go with you and your little one. I know it's hard and confusing as hell right now but, just hang in there!!

Beka