I'm scared . . .
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I'm scared . . .
| Mon, 03-22-2004 - 7:59am |
. . . because he's coming here (to my office) at 10:00 a.m. to sign the Affidavit of Consent for our divorce. This is the last document he needs to sign in order for me to finalize the divorce. Also, I have asked him to agree to an amendment of our Separation Agreement which would give me one more month (until April 30) for me to get my dog out of his house. I need him to agree to this because I don't close on my new house until April 23, and I would have nowhere to put Caesar (my dog) in the meantime.
This is just starting to feel very "final." I will literally not need him to do *anything* else after today. This is it. I'm really nervous, but also kind of excited. I want everything to go well, but in a way, I'm sad, too. I keep remembering all the good things, and all the times we had that were "normal." I'm going to miss him for a very long time once all this is over with, I just know it. I just feel so sick . . .
~Emm

BIG HUGS...your at the final stage of this. It seems quite normal what you are going through and I imagine that someday I'll be in that same place...a bit nostaglic of the good times shared. Right now, I'm mired in the grief and loss. And trying to deal with that, initiating divorce proceedings AND the h who is now begging, crying and pleading.
Just try to stay calm when asking for your VERY STBX about extending the seperation...and keep in mind that you have NO control over his response. Just try to play it off like its "no big deal" even if it is. Try to have a back up plan just in case....are there any kennels in your area that could temporary house your dog? I know that's probably not the place you want him to be...but drastic times call for drastic measures.
And of course you are going to miss him. Its that side of us that continues to "wish" that things were different....but we all know where that wishing got us. Keep the faith, work on yourself...and someone beautiful will come into your life when the time is right.
BIG HUGS, stay strong.
dharma
It is 9:10 where I am at in the world, CST.
Thank you both so much for all the support! He was here for about an hour, and he did sign the final document that I need to file with the Court to finalize the divorce. He was absolutely *shaking* as he did it, and he told me his heart was racing. He said he was really nervous, too. In fact, he had to wait for his hand to stop shaking a little before he could sign the document. He and I also signed the deed to our house, so it is now completely in his name. But, he did not agree to keep my dog until April 23, when I close on my house. So, I'm going to keep him at my boyfriend's house until we move into the new place. That way, he'll get to meet his new "brother and sister" (my boyfriend's two dogs), and he'll have someone to play with!
The only problem is, my boyfriend's STBXW didn't pay the mortgage payment on the house for several months, so it's in foreclosure now. That doesn't affect my boyfriend's credit, though, because his name was not on the deed or the mortgage. Meanwhile, she has already left for boot camp (she joined the Army) and he can't get any information on when the sheriff is going to actually foreclose on the house because his name isn't on any of the documentation! How's that for a catch 22?!?! So, we're going to put signs up on the front and back doors of the house, stating that the dogs do *not* belong to his STBXW, and that the sheriff should contact either my boyfriend or me before he takes the dogs out of the house, and we'll find alternate housing for them if need be. (We're afraid this might take place when we're both at work.) Meanwhile, he's going to get a storage unit to keep his stuff in until we close on the house, so the sheriff won't just set it all out on the curb when they foreclose (if that happens before we move). And, my boyfriend will be staying with me and my parents until we close on the house. Unfortunately, my mom and stepdad won't let us bring the dogs -- LOL!
Well, I had to take the deed to the house out to the real estate settlement company that works with my law firm (where I work) to get it notarized. I left to go out there right after he left my office. On the way there, I drove by my new house to try to cheer myself up a little. It worked for a *short* while, but by the time I got to the real estate settlement office, I was a mess. I just sat there in the parking lot and bawled for about five minutes before I could even go in. Fortunately, I'm pretty good friends with all the girls who work there, so they either didn't notice that I'd been crying, or had the good grace to act like they didn't notice. They knew what I had just gone through, because I called ahead of time to see if I could bring the deed out there to get it notarized.
After he signed all the documents but before he left my office, we were talking a little bit. He thanked me for everything I've done for him over the past six years, like motivating him to get his GED, get his driver's license, get a decent job/career, take better care of himself, and get off of some of the harder drugs he had been trying, just to name a few things! He told me that he now realizes that if it hadn't been for me, there would be no way he'd be doing as well as he is today. He gives me credit for a lot of that, and it meant a lot to me to hear him say those things. (Always before, he said that he'd be doing just as well, regardless of what I've done for him.) He also told me that I'd been a damn good wife to him, and he was sorry it ended the way it did. I told him I was just sorry I couldn't be what he wanted, and he said, "But you were." So I said, "Well, then, I'm sorry I didn't know that." I was crying by that time, of course.
So, here I am back at work now, and still depressed, but getting better. Every day, I will get better. Soon I will have my divorce decree, and I will be able to go back to my maiden name. After today's meeting, I don't think I'll ever see him again. I don't know whether I should be relieved or torn apart by that. God, this hurts soooo bad!!! :o(
Love & Hugs,
Emm
The talk you had with him post-signing is a lot like the one when I moved all of my stuff out of the last residence I shared with Nerfy.
CL-Blueliner4