Worried about my dog!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Worried about my dog!
3
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 9:53am
As you may remember, my dog, Caesar, is still living with STBXH. According to our Separation Agreement, I am to pick him up no later than March 31. I offered to allow STBXH to keep him until April 23, because that's when I close on my new house, and I thought it would be better for Caesar if he didn't have to move twice (once to my boyfriend's house, and then again when we move into the new place). But, of course, STBXH thinks of no one but himself, so he decided I needed to have him out by March 31, as the Separation Agreement states. OK, fine, no problem, I told him I would be glad to do that, I just wanted to offer him the option.

So, I told him at that time that I would make arrangements with my Mom to transport Caesar on March 31 in her SUV, and I would e-mail him with the specific time on the 31st that we would be there to pick Caesar up. So, I e-mailed him on Tuesday, telling him that my Mom and I would be there on Wednesday, March 31 at 6:30 p.m. to pick up Caesar and all of his things (bowls, food, toys, medications etc.), and asked him to e-mail me back ASAP to let me know if that time would work or not. He is to have his sister or some other neutral person there to let me into the house (he has already changed the locks, or so he says) and he is not to be there himself (at his *own* suggestion). However, it's now Friday, and he has not e-mailed me back yet. I'm starting to worry, because I checked his e-mail account (he doesn't know that I can do this) and not only has he already read the e-mail, but it was in his "trash" folder, so he deleted it as well. Wednesday is the last day I have to get my dog, according to the Separation Agreement, and I'm starting to worry. Any ideas about what I should do next?

~Emm

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 1:24pm

I read Tracy's post upstairs, and I agree with her.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 1:41pm
Gabby, everything in your post and in Tracy's post upstairs sounds like a good idea. One thing I do have going for me is that Caesar is licensed in *my* name, and his dog license is current. So, if for some strange reason STBXH does turn him in to the animal shelter, they will have proof that he is *my* dog. I'm sure they'll return him to me, especially once they see our Separation Agreement.

However, I do kinda believe him when he says he has already changed the locks. I don't think he would have said that if he hadn't, because he knows me well enough to know that, if he hadn't changed the locks yet and had no one there to let me in on Wednesday night, I would go in myself anyway. So, when he told me that, I took my old key to the house off my keychain and pitched it! I was glad to be rid of that d@mn thing, anyway!!!

Also, I e-mailed him again today, stating that I wasn't sure if he had received my e-mail of Tuesday or not, and asking him to please respond to this one ASAP so that I know if I can pick Caesar up on Wednesday or not, as planned. I also told him that, if the Wednesday evening thing wouldn't suit him, we could make other plans (i.e. I could come later on Wednesday evening, or sometime over this weekend or early next week to get him). So, if I haven't heard from him by Monday, I'm calling his therapist (who was also my therapist for a good while) and asking her to contact him to mediate the "Caesar Exchange." Maybe she can talk some sense into him. But, if even that gets no results, I'm going to show up at his house at 6:30 Wednesday night, as I suggested in my e-mails, and I'm going to have a copy of all the Caesar-related e-mails I've sent him so far, as well as the Separation Agreement with me. If he's not there (or if he *is* there and refuses to let me have my dog), I'm calling the cops. Even if they can't do anything to help me enforce the Separation Agreement, at least it will be on record that I called them and that he has my dog. I'm telling you, if he acts up again this time, do not pass "go," do not collect $200, the cops *will* be called. I'm done playing his little mind games.

Love,

Emm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 8:11pm
Stop waiting for him to comply, this is what they love and want us to do.