papers signed : )

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
papers signed : )
2
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 1:39pm
well, just got back from signing the divorce papers. ahhhhhhhh..... relief... feels good, real good. althought it'll be another 2 weeks before i get a hearing and then another month for him to get a lawyer, at least the process has begun. got some question for you ladies who have already been through this. we (my lawyer and i) are asking for everything. things i didn't even think of. she said it's better this way. just to put it all out there in the beginning. we filed the ro and that'll be served w/the divorce papers.

so here's my questions... after the hearing he has a month to get an attorney or decide if he will represent himself, right? that's what my lawyer told me. but, what happens then. we go and try to settle? what if he wants to drag it out? can he? can this process last longer then a few month? if so, how? is there anyway he can pospone it? i would have asked my lawyer but i just got to thinking aobut it. you ladies know how these men work. i know they will do it, but can they?

mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
In reply to: imel240
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:03pm
In my case it has been going on far, far too long. My mistake was to believe stbx when he claimed he wanted to negotiate a fair settlement. After two years of him stalling and postponing, however he could, I've hired a new lawyer and she's pulled out the big guns. We are not negotiating anymore. My offer to settle leaves me with a little less than half so he's a fool not to take it. But he won't and we are going to trial. Because custody is one of the issues, we need at least a week for the trial and the soonest week available begins on January 31st, 2005.

I should have gone the 'press forward to trial' route from the beginning. There is no reason not to proceed with the paperwork as quickly as possible. If there is to be a negotiated settlement, it can be done during the waiting periods. I think the abuser's sense of entitlement makes it impossible for them to accurately judge what is a fair deal. It took me two years to fully realize this. His sense of entitlement means that he truly believes it is all his and I am trying to steal it. Even the kids see the inequality of it. Sad really.

IGNORE him and just keep doing the next right thing. Push your lawyer if you have to. The squeeky wheel gets the grease, they say. Good luck and keep looking up^, Susan.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: imel240
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 2:17pm

Yes, asking for everything and negotiating from there is a good tactic.

CL-Blueliner4