why is he doing this to me?
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why is he doing this to me?
| Thu, 05-13-2004 - 7:18am |
I am going to go if I have too. He was suppose to pick up our son yesterday. He called yesterday morning to make sure. He started to give me a hard time again. I textmailed him back I am tired of all this turmiol and if he can not act like an adult then we go to court. He called me back and agreed. I called his phone at 3:45 yesterday to make sure he picked up DS. His girlfriend answered and I asked were he was she said work. I said are u sure he was suppose to pick up my son between 3-4 I said to have my ex call me back. He calls back yelling at me for calling his girlfriend (this is the only phone he has since he cant afford one for hiself.) He said I called her a million times. I called once. Then he starts ranting and raving that I am harrassing him and that I am sick in the head. I started yelling back at him that I am tired of this. He was yelling at me that his girlfriend is getting mad know. He was yelling he does not want to deal with me and he is taking me for all these civil fines. I hung up and He called back. He started yelling at me that he is going down to the police statin and ex and his girlfriend are going to file terrorist threats against me. I said I never threatened you. He said I do not care she she will lie for me. He also wanted and RO against me for harrassment. I dont even call him. The only time I did this week was when he had my son on Sat to tell him I was picking him up and on Tues when I wanted my sons stuff back because he never dropped it off. I was crying and so upset. I went down to the police station too file a complaint. He left my son at school never picked him up either. I had my mom. My ex tried to call while I was in police station he also called my friend to see if anyone picked up my son. He started screaming at my friend about how I am crazy and call him all the time and that I have something wrong with me. My friend just hung up. The police station were he went was the next town over from me. The police officer called me and told me he did not believe my ex and his girlfriend about there story and would not file anything against me. He told me that since my son is not on the RO that he is alound contact with him but once he vears off the subject he is in violation and I need to call them. At least that was a relieve. Why is he doing this to me? Why can we not just get along. He is just so down right mean and nasty all the time. I told him that the only reason that I talk to him is for Jakob and if he did not notice I do not ever vear off the sujbect. How can he say that I am harrassing him. I do not call him hardly ever if I do it is about my son. He was telling my friend that I want him back and that is why I am acting like this. Acting like what? I do not even say anything too him about that. He also said I am using Jakob as a wedge. A wedge for what? I do not want him. My friend also told me he said I through him out he did not leave and that he never cheated on me. O my God. Why are you still lying. I have decided to not even let him see his child until court because he can not be civil to me. Even after all the hurt and pain that he has caused me I do not hold any gruges or hate him. Why does he do this to me?

You now have documented evidence of this child neglect, willingness to falsely report, etc. Very nice items for you to have - thanks abusive idiot boy! The more time goes by that you IGNORE HIM and keep doing the right thing, the more evidence he will give you. These guys sense of entitlement and superiority runs so deep that he honestly thinks people will believe him when he tells these outragious lies. The evidence will not back them up though.
The best way I know to stay on the topic of the children is to communicate via email only. He can not drag you off topic. If he goes off topic, you just ignore it, instead of your conditioned response of instinctively starting to defend. You will have written evidence of any threats and attempts at intimidation or manipulation. Even things that you two agree to (like what time he will pick up your son) will all be in writing so he can't later claim he didn't know or agree.
My lawyer tells me I could probably win my sole custody case based on the emails alone. They show ongoing, manipulation, coersion, and generally a total lack of desire to jointly parent any type of co-operative fashion.
Courts will look at the best interest of the children. For the most part, the parent most willing to work toward maintaining a realtionship for the children with the other parent is the way they lean here in Canada.(unless you can prove there is a threat of harm to the children). Courts back away from this joint arrangement in cases where you can prove that the parents relationship is too advisarial to support a co-operative parenting arrangement. That's where I am and the emails prove it. Since there is no phone contact, the emails represent *all* of our communication. He can't BS anymore and he can't rile me up either. That is heavenly, you should really try it.
You need to have your choices and actions show you to be the parent capable of acting in a mature, rational, non-emotionally-driven manner. Not only will it help you in any legal proceedings that may be down the road but, remember your actions will be speaking to your son, too.
I think these guys call sometimes just to see if they can still get us flustered. We're like a sport to them. I said "I am not playing that game ANYMORE!" and cut contact. He didn't like it but, too bad. I do not owe him anymore of my time on his terms. Now, my time is on my terms.
Definately report any and ALL violations as suggested by the officer you spoke with. Even he knows you are right and he's given you good advice to help you use the system to protect you and your rights. Do as he said.
Keep looking up^, Susan.