His fists were clenched

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
His fists were clenched
4
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 12:48pm
I thought I was going to be punched last night. I knew from the time he walked in the house he was in a raw mood. He had a bad day and decided that I was neglecting him for not calling during the day to check on him. I'm a teacher with no lunch hour (I work with at-risk students at lunch)and no phone in sight but I was supposed to have some sort of preminition that he had a rough day, find a phone to call and see how he was doing. That's how it started. In front of our 1 year old, he called me pitiful, useless, sickening and whole lot of profane names. I told him to stop yelling at me infront of our son. It only got worse. I grabbed the diaper bag and our son and announced we were going to take a drive to let him cool off. He lunged at me, grabbed the bag and clenched his fist, screaming "Do you know how bad I want to knock the f*** out of you?" My look of shock made him relax his hand but he threw the bag at us and I ran. The baby had no socks or shoes, I was in jogging shorts and a T shirt. I wanted to go straight to the shelter but had nothing with me. We rode around for nearly 3 hours. I went back to the house hoping and praying he was sleeping or at least calm. I was wrong on both accounts. He started in on me again, demanding to know where I was. I begged him to stop yelling infront the sleeping baby. He said "I don't care. I hope he wakes up." So, let's torture the child. Finally, after laying the baby down and taking another 30 minutes of names and cut downs, he ends with "You will not take my son away from me. You can call it a threat if you want but you will not take him".

Of course, I did not sleep at all last night trying to formulate a plan of escaping. I'm praying for the rain to end so he will be at work (he's in construction) and I can grab the important items I've organized throughout the house. I pray to my mom in heaven that I can make it through the next few days and that my escape is the best thing for my son.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 1:40pm

Illini, if anything like this happens between now and when you can safely run to a shelter without him being around, get out and go directly to the police station or somewhere safe and call the cops.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:18am

Hi illinigirl…I will definitely be praying for you that this goes as smoothly and as safely as possible.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 12:42pm
Thanks for your prayers. We're still hanging in there waiting for a good opportunity to escape. At this point, he knows something is up and has barely left the house. I saw my counselor yesterday and he recommended being as nice and sweet as I could so that he will put down his guard and then make a break for it. It's tough, but I have tried to put on a happy face and it seems to be easing the tension. Meanwhile, I've talked to 3 different lawyers, none of which have impressed me. It's like domestic violence isn't a factor when you haven't involved the police. The only evidence I have is a few snapshots of broken doors and walls (of which he punched), his parents as witnesses to the aftermath of big fights and my testimony. Hopefully I can find a lawyer who not only believes me, but takes it seriously and is able to convince a judge for the order of protection and custody.

I'll post again soon. Hopefully from a safer and happier place.

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 1:21pm

Illini,


Contact your local shelter or the National Hotline to get the number of your closest shelter and see if they have any referrals for DV attorneys, even if it's Legal Aid.

CL-Blueliner4