Nervous!!!
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| Fri, 05-21-2004 - 1:52pm |
I'm really nervous about something really stupid: My 26th birthday is coming up on May 31 (Memorial Day), and this will be the first birthday I've celebrated without XH in six years. Every year, on my birthday, we would inevitably have a huge argument and my whole day (if not my whole *week*) would be completely ruined. It's like he tried to ruin my birthday on purpose, every single year. It got to the point where I stopped taking the day off work for my birthday (which I had done often in the past so that we could spend some time together) because things always went so wrong. I tried to just go to work and act like it was any other normal day. I never expected him to get me a gift or anything (although he almost always did get me at least something small), because I didn't want to be disappointed if he didn't get me anything or do anything to acknowledge the fact that it was my birthday.
Well, you'd think I'd be happy that I don't have that to worry about anymore. BUT, this will also be the *first* birthday that I've celebrated with my BF, and I'm not sure what to expect. I know what I *used* to have to put up with on my birthday, and I'm really nervous about what's going to happen now. It's not that BF has given me any reason to think he will act like an ass the way XH did on my birthdays in the past, but that I just don't know what to expect. I would almost rather know, one way or the other. At least with XH, I *knew* what to expect, and because of that, I was never disappointed. BF has asked on several occasions what I want for my birthday and/or what would I like to do, but I just don't know what to say. I'm not used to anyone giving a sh!t that it's my birthday, so I'm not sure how to react.
My mom always has a small family get-together for my birthday/her wedding anniversary/Memorial Day, so we'll be going to that on Sunday the 30th. I'm off for Memorial Day (which is my actual birthday), but BF has to work, and he'll probably have a pretty long day. So, I guess at least that is a good thing. I almost wish I *did* have to work for my birthday, that way I could just act like it's any other day. I know I probably shouldn't even be worrying about this, but I just needed to vent a little. Thanx again for listening!
Love & Hugs,
Emm

Howdy.
Just read Tracy's response upstairs and she's dead on.
Now, here's what I think you should do - write it down here.
CL-Blueliner4