scattered

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
scattered
1
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 12:14pm
helloooo everyone!!! i need to vent for a minute. so bare w/me.

as you all know i'm patiently awaiting my divorce. well, i was patiently awaiting my divorce. now, i'm just waiting!!! tired of waiting actually. i know it hasn't been long but we've had to pospone two hearing already b/c they can't find him to serve the papers. althought he calls me and i can find him if needed. they can't seem to find him. ugh!!! it's just fustrating. don't get me wrong....i'm so much happier now. but, yesterday i bumped heads w/his dad. his dad keeps anna during the day while i work. he has been keeping her for over a year now. she loves him. well, as some of you know my stbxh has not had anything to do w/her in about a month. when it's time for him to keep her he never shows up. doens't pay me any money. well, i find out this weekend that his dad has been taking her to see him. they dont' know aobut the ro and how she isn't suppose to be around him b/c of the abuse. well, i ask his dad about it and he goes off on me in front of anna. i was so upset. i wanted to take her home and never bring her back. but, i wanted to play it smart. i know how attached he is to her. i know how much money he has and how he would give it all up if i took her from him. he's just like that. so i'm trying to do this the right way. but, i'm not sure what to do. so i called my lawyer this morning and i'm really considering filing no fault and giving him what he wants. which is every other weekend and hardly any money to support her. but, i'm so tired of fighting. i'm tired of having to deal w/his family. tired of being married to a self centered control freak!!! my friends keep telling me to keep fighting and get what i deserve. but, they don't know how drained i am, how empty i feel. how anyday now i feel as though i could just give it all up. but, i don't. i just want this to be final so i can feel as though i've put this part of my life behind me and i can start moving forward....alone!! his dad said so many bad things to me yesterday and i don't want her growing up hearing things about me. b/c i have my children in counseling he thinks i've raised them wrong. telling me i was a bad mother and my children had a behavioral problem before stbxh. then tells me he thinks my other children have been beating on my little one. she's 17 months old and she climbs on things and plays outside all the time....of course she has bruises. if he only knew what happened in my house. her older brother and sister look out for her. they pick her up when she falls and hug her when she cries. they love her just like she loves them. it hurts me to hear things like that. and to think i let her go stay all day w/someone who would feel taht way about me. if he only knew. my thoughts are scattered. thanks for letting me vent. i'm just trying to make my next move.

mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: imel240
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 2:13pm

1) DO NOT LET HIM HAVE THE NO FAULT.


2) CONTACT THE POLICE AND LET THEM KNOW THAT THERE HAVE BEEN THIRD PARTY VIOLATIONS OF THE RO.


I understand he's the one that's been providing the child care, but if the authorities find out that he's been violating the RO and you knew about it, you can get in trouble (and so can he).

CL-Blueliner4