Know I have to leave, but I'm scared
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Know I have to leave, but I'm scared
| Tue, 06-15-2004 - 12:29am |
I just recently found out about this board, and I'm glad there's a place to talk about these things. I've been in a longterm marriage to someone who is emotionally and verbally abusive and have thought about leaving for years. Different things stopped me, fear mostly. But things are getting to the point where I HAVE to get out, I can't let myself in for another 20 years of this. Even though my husband isn't physically abusive, I'm afraid of him. Over the years, when I talked about leaving, he would sometimes say he wouldn't stop me but other times has made various threats- to get members of his family (who can afford lawyers) to sue me for whatever financial resources I have, to tell people things that would publicly humiliate me, etc.
I've decided I'm going to have to get out despite my fears about these threats, and I'm working on the practical stuff now- like money and housing. I think the only way I"ll be able to leave is if I have a place to move into and most of my stuff already in storage. I feel like I need to literally be able to tell him I'm leaving, then leave that same day- otherwise he'll make my life a hell as long as I remain here. My questions are-
I've decided I'm going to have to get out despite my fears about these threats, and I'm working on the practical stuff now- like money and housing. I think the only way I"ll be able to leave is if I have a place to move into and most of my stuff already in storage. I feel like I need to literally be able to tell him I'm leaving, then leave that same day- otherwise he'll make my life a hell as long as I remain here. My questions are-
For those of you who have left, did your husband try to stop you? (he's out of work and home all the time, so I'm not in a position to leave when he's not here) How much "notice" did you give before you left? Also, I live in a state WITHOUT no-fault divorce. If I move out on him, would that be considered abandonment and could he sue me for that? Thanks everyone for your help.

Welcome to the board, timeisnow2004.
Peace and hugs,
Cheryl =)
The minute you settle for less than you
Welcome Timeisnow -
Okay, first things first:
www.womenslaw.org - this website can give you state specific information in regards to legal aspects you might be worried about.
CL-Blueliner4