Good times right now...

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Good times right now...
4
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 9:42am


My H is adopted. He recently found his birth mother and she contacted him back so he is on cloud nine right now. He seems much more at ease and patient. He only just talked to her yesterday and they had a good convo on the phone. Lately he has been leaving me little notes in the morning telling me to have a great day and "love you". I was even able to get irritated with him last night because he put the car in gear before my son was totaly in the car and he didn't get all pissed off!

He would also leave a note whenever I have a sale at work (haven't been many, commission only) I guess to reinforce his place in my life. Then we would have an argument about how I should go work somewhere else and it is "stupid" to stay there.

So I have to ask.... could this finding his mother be a turnaround in his life where he is more predictable and not so angry? I have a feeling it is a short lived situation. He always back slides to his old self sooner or later.

I also have to tell him I lost a big sale that he was probably depending on to pay for this new computer and some other things we have purchased. I think he might use it as more amo for me to leave this company. Kinda contradictive to the "can't you just make SOME money" attitude, but he uses every situation to his advantage I suppose.

I am going to have to tell him soon,.

Thanks

dd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 1:19pm

DD, the best advice right now is to just trust your gut.

CL-Blueliner4

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 1:38pm
blue

You know what he will do when i tell him about the sale? He will be all understanding and nice about it then in, I don't a week maybe two, he will bring it up in tirade about how I should leave this co., and he doesn't understand why I don't, it is STUPID to stay there, why can't I get it through my head....yada yada yada

He fooled me once (when I agreed to marry him) that he had changed... it took years before I realized it wasn't true, so now whenI think about when the kids leave and being alone with him again... I cringe because it really wasn't that GREAT before the kids. Especially now that I am wiser and know where he is coming from. ON the other hand I keep thinking that he loves me enough that counselling might work for us. But like I said in response to your post below with the new check points... how do you make an old dog change his colors!

thanks again

dd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 2:04pm

DD -


I responded below in regards to the counseling.


You can't get a dog to change his spots, just like zebras can't change their stripes.

CL-Blueliner4

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 2:35pm
blue

I guess I haven't gotte to the preverbial throwing my hands in a air place yet. I am going to just focus on what makes me happy and not be concerned with how it will affect his ego. As a matter of fact I sit here dressed and ready to go to work, i'm going to go see someone about getting referals so wish me luck!

Oh and I might be heading over to England to do some sales work with a co worker..male...and H had a tempre tantrum about that. "They are ENglish you're not, they have a leg up on you, what makes youthink that will work? What am I to think you going with another man?"" UGH!! This could be a good way to get some top notch leads and he is just worried I might sleep with this guy! He is a total turn off by the way, so no way I would! Told H that as well...don't think it sunk in.


well I'm off...can't get the $$ if I don't get off the computer!

thanks!

dd