angry because he hurt them again

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
angry because he hurt them again
3
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 1:19pm
Why can't he just leave them alone. We've moved 6 hours away to get away from this man and he still causes us trouble. I still have my old cell phone# so that my family can get ahold of me. Well my ds b-day was tuesday. when we got home my mom called to wish him a happy b-day. Then she told me my ex had called and wanted me to have Austin to call him so he could tell him happy b-day. So I told Austin that and told him if he wanted to he could call. Well he decided to call and the first time he got the answering machine. Then

he called him again and he had the nerve to say he was busy could he call back later. Austin was so devistated then he got mad and I got so angry that if he would have been in front of me I would had killed him. So I stewed for about 30 min. Then I decided to call him myself. he was so stunned it was me that he didn't say a word he just listened and I told him what I thought of what he had done to Austin. When I was done he said that it wasn't his fault that Austin was upset. That if I would just come back home he would be okay. I laughted at him and told him that we were better off with out him. He said that I was the one who tore our family apart and that it was my fault that the boys are like they are. I realized then that I was waisting my breath again because he still thinks he the victim and I'm at fault for all of this. HE can still push my buttons after 8 months

and I hate that I fell into his trap again. He knows if he hurts the boys that I will confront him.

Please tel me this gets easier as time goes by and that My kids will realize that its not them its always been him that he is the one with the problem.

Well enough ranting for the day.

Christy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 2:12pm

It does get easier...if you have no contact.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 3:54pm
Thank you so much for your support. I sure you know that it means alot to me to beable to talk to someone about where I'm coming from. Besides my councelor. I've cried so much in the last day or so. Then I get angry because i'm crying about him again and I promised I wouldn't do that any more. I hate feeling this way, I hate feeling at all. I get so angry at him I wish something would happen to him, then I feel guilty because he still their dad weather he's an ass or not.

I set and look at my kids and wonder why anyone could ever hurt their kids like he has. I mean since we moved I haven't slept in my room by myself. They may start out in their room but they always end up in mine.

I watch them around their friends dads an my male friends and they just crave thier attention. Which my friends are really good with them. But it breaks my heart that they have to go through this, its not thier fault and I hate to see them feel the way they do.

But at the same time I am so grateful that we got out with our lives. Because I know that some don't make it out. I am one of the lucky ones. And I thank god every day for that i found the courage to leave him. Now I just need the strength to keep moving and stay focused.

Everyone says how strong I was. But they don't understand that I wasn't strong I was trying to survive. If I had been strong I would have left A whole lot sooner. But I wasn't strong enough I waited 12 years to leave and now my kids have all these emotional and mental scares. I just hope that they can forgive me for not leaving sooner and that they understand that what I went through no other woman should.




Christy












































































iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 06-24-2004 - 4:10pm

Our philosophy is that crying is healing, every tear that comes out is a hurt that was inflicted on you or your boys.

CL-Blueliner4