This is mental

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
This is mental
1
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 12:18am
Ok so things have been strained to say the least, he is respecting most of the boundaries I am laying down but his words are still bordering on the abusive side infact there have been a few that have been downright abusive, so explain to me why do i keep going back for more I let him stay over last night in my bed and I gave in to his advances, I just wanted to feel normal what ever that is and don't get me wrong I wanted to go there he didn't force me but after I felt this enormous sense of guilt like I was giving him the wrong message like once again I had given in and in some way by doing what I did I was accepting his behavior. I don't understand I give in or up everytime I don't have the strength to fight anymore. I just want to feel better and having him around when he is mr nice guy feels so good...I suppose that's why I put up with it because I love mr nice guy...I am so tired I just want to sleep...I went to my dr and got some sleeping tablets to help me with my insomnia and last night I took two and still could'nt get to sleep for ages....I wish this would all go away i just don't have the strengh anymore......

M
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: hurtylots
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 1:25am

M -


Do me a favor, PLEASE don't double up on the sleeping tabs again.

CL-Blueliner4