Ultimatum after "Torn"
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| Mon, 10-25-2004 - 4:42pm |
I told my DD not to delete the messages on the answering machine. all fourteen of them. She wanted to know why. I've excluded her from all this turmoil, not wanting her to know what a jerk her father can be and trying not to put her in the middle. Well, I'm tired of that too. She listened to the messages and asked what all he did. I told her, yet I told her he was also drunk and he's not that type of a person sober. Her response to me was "I'm tired of you making excuses for him, and I'm tired of you sticking up for him." Boy, did that sink in! So from here on out I'm not hiding anything from her anymore. I don't know if this is right or wrong. I always tell her he's a good dad. Apparently, he's mentioned a number of statements to her about me (i.e., I have a boyfriend......yeah, right! I'm trying to get rid of him let alone get another one!) I've never talked ill of him. She was very, very angry when she found out what he did. She has a lot of anger like him and holds a lot of jealousy toward me; she learned it well. She cussed to glory and then went and did her "cutting" thing. I'm trying to educate myself on that and have learned a lot. I've also come across some boards discussing it. Not that it's right but I'm at wits end until the counseling sessions. Hopefully, counseling will help her through her anger. Hopefully, counseling will help him too. It did years ago when he drank.
To, Newcam, I've been to counseling. The first sessions taught me how I am a person, I matter, and I have a right to a life. That's why I moved out. My next sessions with another counselor were stopped. She told me she couldn't help me if I wouldn't stand up to him. I think I've reached that point, until the next episode. I already told him I have plans two weeks from now and I'll call the police if he comes near me or calls me with harrassing phone calls.
I just wonder if this will ever end. I just wanted to be "Happy".

Hi makesmehappy…I’m really worried about you with this horrible abuser.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
- Maya Angelou