a pointed question
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a pointed question
| Sun, 10-31-2004 - 12:37pm |
What does physical abuse really mean? I am a forward thinking, very liberal, college educated stay at home mother of three married to a forward thinking, very liberal, college educated man. Early in our relationship we would have loud throwing things fights but did less and less as we have grown older. Over the course of our marriage(we've been married 5 years)he occasionally gets really stressed out and hits me. Not often, like maybe 3 times a year. Is this reason enough to end a marriage? When it happens it seems like a huge thing but as time goes on it gets less and less important. The thing is, he gets completely crazy...not like he just slaps me once, he loses it!!! If I fall he keeps hitting. He hit me when I was pregnant with our last two babies once each pregnancy. I've had black eyes and bloody noses...this sounds really bad and I'm getting off topic. My question is... is this abuse? Do I have to leave my children's father, the love of my life over a couple of indescrections?
Edited 10/31/2004 1:47 pm ET ET by somechick1978
Edited 10/31/2004 1:47 pm ET ET by somechick1978

Hi, somechick and welcome, though we're sorry you need to be here, and I use the word NEED because you DO need to be here.
Mama Harmony
When I was a cl here, I had a quote at the bottom of my posts: "The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settle for." Don't you think you deserve better than being a punching bag a few times a year? I think you deserve more than that and I also think your children deserve more than that. But only you can decide. Start documenting the abuse, even if it's just in a journal. Whenever you have bruises, take pictures - if you can't stomach someone else taking them for you, then take them yourself in the mirror if you have to. Do the research and read the book. Post here whenever you need to talk or just lurk and read the posts of others. I think you'll find yourself and your husband on this board more often than you believe right now. And protect those babies. They see more than you think. And they will learn what they live. Remember that as you work through this.
I wish you much hope and happiness. I hope that you'll find the answers you seek. Be safe.
Peace and hugs,
Cheryl =)
About 3 times a year over the course of a 5 year marriage would equal about 15 criminal assaults against you, not a couple of indescretions.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
- Maya Angelou
Hi Chick -
Sadly, less than 1% of abusers will ever stop abusing, and that number is with extensive batterer's intervention.
CL-Blueliner4
I'm pondering leaving my husband who screams and yells and comprimises my security, if he ever hit me just once, I'd be gone (I should be right now anyways).
Your husband is beating you BAD. Not just hitting once, but pummeling. That's a very very bad thing and you should get out now. I know you love him but that is no way to live. There are men out there who are caring and loveing and would never hit a woman.
Good luck to you,
CatLover66
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
- Maya Angelou