Could it be my fault?
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Could it be my fault?
| Sat, 11-06-2004 - 9:26pm |
This is not the first time I have posted on an abuse board. I am positive I am married to an abuser. I have been kicked,pushed,choked,bitten,threatened with an iron once etc. He had never punched at me,until tonight. I was in a bad mood when he got home from work, I was definitly witchy.My two older boys fought all day & baby was cranky from his flu shot, not to mention the five loads of wash I had to do, and the house to put in order.(I work full time-today was my day off)He came home and laid on the couch(after yelling at me that dinner wasn't on the table when he walked in) at 4:30 in the afternoon.I was complaining about him not helping at all, and when I went upstairs to get pj's for the baby,he said "you want these" threw the pajamas at me, and pushed me and kicked me in the hall until I fell down, then he punched me in the side of the head-HARD-I just sat there for awhile,I saw spots in my eyes, and he went back to the bedroom and laid down.He had worked a double shift,I know he was tired, but dammit so was I.Sometimes I work 60 hours a week, and I never go around punching anyone in the head.He just seems to get worse & worse. The name calling,oh my god is it awful.I am worthless, annoying,stupid,fat,obnoxious,a slut,a c*** etc, it is bad.Even in public he has no qualms about calling me names or trying to embarass me. In the last 4 months I have lost 30 pounds(atkins!), I am thinner than I ever have been as long as I've known him, and he calls me a fat bitch just about everyday,he is forever picking on my weight. I am 5 foot four and 145 pounds,not all that fat for all these names,my self esteem tho-is long gone. I have reached the point that if I could afford to, I think I would be gone.BUT I can't do it right now-I have no family really around here.I feel so stuck, and so miserable. I get a sick feeling coming home from work, never knowing how the night will go.According to him though all the problems are brought on by me.I think I'm losing my mind~Short

Hi Shortstuff, welcome -
My first gut reaction is to get to an ER.
CL-Blueliner4
Shortstuff…I remember your husband well from prior posts you’ve written here starting in October 2003.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
- Maya Angelou