update
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| Sun, 11-21-2004 - 2:11am |
I was on a short trip but spent this morning reading over the latest postings. It helps so much to hear other people's stories and how they make it through. If I may just bother everyone with an update (thanks for letting me ramble). Again, comments are more than welcomed.
While I was away, the spouse has been calling every day to speak to my son. My mother informed me that a couple of times he called sounding seriously depressed. I believe that even a 4 year old can pick up on that and so my son quickly said he had to go to color or play. This peeves me to no end that he would call to try to pour out his sorrows on a 4 year old boy. It also peeves me that for the little boy's entire 4 years, his father has incessantly asked him every day if his son 'loves him' or 'are you my buddy'. Little children should be told they are loved and not required to boost the ego of the parent.
Now, as a regular habit, the spouse has been calling every day, sometimes twice a day, being quite short with me and then asking to speak to my son. Then the spouse passes the phone to his mother, whom he is staying with, who speaks to my son. They end up saying good bye without asking to speak to me again. No problem, but I have this little nagging feeling like impending danger, just from their tone of voice and the things they say. For instance, my spouse's mother keeps repeating how she (and the spouse with his brother) is staying with me over Christmas for three weeks and getting my son excited about it (even knowing the horrible threats my spouse has made against me). As I have said in a previous posting, I was planning on leaving before Christmas. Here come those feelings of guilt again.
I have spoken with two counselor's, several friends, and relatives all of who insist that if I stick around for Christmas, the chances of something disasterous happening are too great. He is already flip flopping between depression at potentially losing something, and elation at thinking he is causing me pain (either by threatening to leave ME, or by telling me how much more money than me he makes). My only pain would be for him to do some act of violence or to try to kidnap my son. Of course trying to destroy the house or anything inside has also been a possibility suggested by the counselor as well.
Am I right in thinking that allowing this to continue over Christmas is too risky? Do I have a legitimate right to take his son away and bar him from his own house over Christmas?

Hi, Hg, glad you made it back.
Mama Harmony