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| Tue, 11-23-2004 - 12:15am |
I am new here, as I have discovered I may be in an abusive situation.
A while back, I lost everything--career, home--everything, and moved back home to live with my parents (I am in my thirties, mind you). Growing up, I dealt their with physical and severe emotional/verbal abuse. So I have landed right back in hell.
Things never came easily for me. I can't seem to get my life straight no matter how hard I try. I know you can't blame your childhood and teen years for your adulthood, but sometimes, I sit down and wonder.... My family blames me. After all, we are a "nice, middle-class" family. I brought out the worst in everyone.
I am so tired and sad. I can't seem to find a job, and feel too stupid to hold one down. I am so lonely, and friends are hard to keep. I think I look for love I never felt, and I guess my neediness is prevelant to other people.
I am so ashamed. I would go to a shelter, but I hear such horror stories about those places. I would probably end up feeling worse about myself. I wish I could find a safe place to heal and renew myself.
Any suggestions, or kind words would be nice.
Zin

Unfortunately, you've dealt with the kind of abuse that there is no escaping from -- and that's the abuse from parents.
Thanks for the kind and practical advice, Tracy.
I especially found that last bit inspiring. You said I should cut my ties, or at least reduce the time spent, with my family, as they offer me so little emotionally. They are currently supporting me financially, which is great, but it isn't everything. So, if I may be so catty, it would be lovely to see their faces when I move out, rarely to be seen again.
I am taking action. I am scared, don't know if I can hack it. I feel like an idiot, but I will try.
Thank you,
Zingara
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
- Maya Angelou