Who's abusing who?
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| Mon, 11-29-2004 - 12:00am |
I'm new to this board and have a lot of questions regarding abuse. I live with my DF and our 7 month old twins. We moved in with my parents a couple of months ago because I needed the help with my babies since my DF works like crazy and I lived 30 miles from my family. We were renting so it wasn't that hard to leave. I also did it hoping my DF would change seeing as though he now lived with other people.
I feel as though he verbally abuses me and I inturn verbally abuse him. Like for instance earlier today he was tired and cranky and started screaming at me about taking care of OUR babies. Him watching the babies for 4 hours while I get extra rest or try to study or do house work is to much for him. He thinks that's to much for him. And constantly has to point out what he does. So he starts screaming at me and called me a B*&$^, and an a#&hole. I got so mad and turned around and cussed him out I know two wrongs don't make a right but I feel as though I don't deserve to be treated that way. Adn what makes it so bad is that he does it in front of my family and makes me look like such a jerk. He doesn't care where he is or who's around he will cuss me out at the drop of a hat. And it's about the stupidest things.
I tried to get him to move out about a month ago and he refused. He threatened to take my kids away from me even if had to kidnap them. He's even threatened to kill me and my kids before I don't know if he's serious or not but I still don't think anyone should talk like that. He's never hit me but threatens to. He told me if I ever left him I would never be happy because he wouldn't allow it. I don't know what to do. I've tried to look at myself and see if maybe I'm the one abusing also, I was in an abusive relationship for years and I feel as though some of those traits I have now taken on. I guess you live what you learn. I do know that I don't just flip out on him it's usually when he provokes me. I constantly ask him to stop being mean. He's just such a jerk. I made an appointment with my counselor that I went to with the last relationship but she couldn't get me in until the middle of december. I don't know what I'm going to do until then. I'm hoping maybe you guys could give me some advice on how to handle this situation. I really don't feel as though I want to be with him anymore and were suppose to get married in March and I really don't want to. I feel like I just want to run away. I've asked him to go to couseling he said he would with me but I think he needs to see someone on his own. I think he has a lot of issues within himself that he needs to deal with that don't involve me. But I really don't think he'll go. I think he just says it so I'll stick around. I don't want my kids growing up in a bad environment and I think this one is. How do I get him out of my life? How do I have a civil relationship with him for the sake of our kids?
thanks for reading
