been a long time
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| Tue, 12-21-2004 - 4:28pm |
since i've been to this board and since i've been abused. well, i'll start w/the good news. i'm doing great. i'm happy and so glad to almost have this divorce final. it's been a long long long process but things are finally looking up. i start school in january, which has been a long time goal for me. so i'm really proud of myself. my children are also well. even the oldest who i thought might be developing the "temper." so all in all everything is well. but, i'm not here for an update. something happened last night w/stbxh. something that i've been ignoring since we separated in febuary. WOW...it's creeping up on a year. my my how time flies. anyway, i realized night he still controls me or at least he thinks he does. he still takes his fustrations out on me. well, i guess i can start w/what happened.
i went to pick up our daughter last night. we met in a public place just as we always do. i was running late. my tire was way low on air and i had to stop. i was maybe 5-10 minutes late. he had to take his new gf's daughter to a xmas play which i was told once i got there. first it was a phone call calling me stupid and a liar b/c i couldn't make it right on time. once i got there he was holding our daughter and shoved the car seat in my chest and pushed me against the car. i got it and started strapping it in. once he gave her to me i said you won't continue to keep her if you keep treating me this way in front of her. he looked at me like he wanted to slap me and i really think he was about it. so i screamed so everyone would look if you ever lay another hand on me i will have you locked up again. then he said i don't have to respect your b**ch a$$ to see my daughter. i tried holding back the tears but i couldn't. so i said nothing. then he starts putting toys in the back of my truck for xmas. he knew he had messed up. i got in the truck and pulled away. then i got a text from him saying he was sorry and another phone call today apoligizing. but, this isnt' the first time. since we've been separted he expects me to cater to his needs. he'll call at the last minute wanted to keep our daughter and when i say no b/c we've made plans he goes off on me calling me names and saying any and everything to hurt me. i always hang up the phone and then ignore his calls. but, gosh!! if i wanted to be treated this way i wouldn't be getting a divorce. so why....why and how does this continue?? i don't feel controlled by him. his words really don't effect me. i guess my question is what do i do about the child situation. i dont' want her raised thinking her parents have no respect for each other. she'll think that's how a relationship is suppose to be and the cycle continues. i wanna beak it. i thought i did when i left him, but i'm not so sure now. never do i say anything bad about him around her...never!! i just get the feeling it's not the same w/him. so what do i do? even if i talk to him about it i'm not so sure it'll change. is that all i'm able to do? anyone been through this before?
mel

Hey Mel, welcome back!
Man, I am sorry that happened.
CL-Blueliner4