Wow! Incredible this holiday season ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wow! Incredible this holiday season ...
5
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 10:03pm

He could be as much an *ss as he wanted ... & it was SO much easier to deal with knowing this would be my LAST XMAS WITH HIM! :) Ahhhh, what RELEIF! I felt less embarassed by his comments that were totally socially unacceptable (to my brother, about my aunts meal), & less as if i had to try to cover up or make excuses for him ... LET them all see, i dont care anymore - or about his having a couple drinks in front of my family (last THEY knew, he wasnt drinking), - or comments about the way i keep my car messy & didnt do an oil change ON TIME ... (to my family, & actaully arguing w/ them about exactly how many miles i was over when no one really have a sh*t) - or comments about my Dads financial situation (he is SO entitled, he thinks b/c my father has money, WE should be given money or get finaincial help ... when HE himself doesnt even work 1/2 time!) & the best, we get to my moms families & about 8 of the 12 people there are in the kitchen. He never even went in to say hello! Just said hi to the few people he saw on the way in & then plopped himself on the couch with the clicker. He is just socially INPET! Oh yeah, & it was such an ORDEAL for him, setting up the new car DVD my Dad bought my dd ... his patience is NILL! Cripes! Its SO embarassing!

He was "good" at some times - he actually was the "best" he has been in a while at a holiday, but b/w his having some idea i am not so happy w/ him these days (although not knowing TRULY how far out of this i am) & it being my 1st w/o my Mom, he was somewhat decent. He was quite supportive of my sadness about my Mom, & stuff like that - but he SHOULD be anyway! & he was a huge help w/ Averey as usual, so that was good anyway.

But as usual, ridiculous arguments ensued b/w us in teh car on teh way home (or he TRIED to start them w/ me, i just backed off since i know there is no sanity in arguing w/ the insane) - the best of which was all KINDS of comments about my father & my brothers & how they "have everything they want", every "toy", etc (b/c HE wants a boat, & he cant get one b/c he makes $150 a WEEK! we cannot afford one) ... & i commented that they CAN have those things b/c they work full time + & HAVE THE MONEY (hey, its just the truth). This said, keep in mind, while H's work is closed down since a week ago, thru the holidays .. & he doesnt seem too concerned AT ALL about no income for 2-3 weeks. Yet he is whining he doesnt get to own a boat, "like everyone else does". His exact comment was "I am 40 years old & i NEED a boat. I WILL get one someday, whether you are selfish enough to say no, or not". So then he was saying stuff about "How hard can your brother work? he owns a GOLF SHOP ... he sits on his *ss in front of a computer all day" - of course, my brother puts his heart & soul into this shop, 7 days a week, has no employees except himself b/c he cant afford it now, in his 1st year ... he travels hundreds of miles late at nite to buy out other shops merchanidse .... but again, the entitlement ... he thinks everyone ELSE gets everything handed to them on a silver platter - just what HE expects!

Anyway, so i actually had some almost JOYOUS moments when he acted like a jerk - b/c it just continues to reinforce how much better my life will be w/o him in it on a daily basis.

R~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 12:30am
Sounds like the beginning of the end for the marriage, and the beginning for you. Stay strong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 12:56pm

He needs a boat, eh?

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 1:33pm

Oh BELIEVE ME ... my family will be SO releived when i tell them. I can SEE the pain in their faces when they see the tip of the iceberg, b/c thats all he shows in front of them. After my Mom died last Jan, i had 3 people at differnt times, come to me concerned about how i was treated, that i deserved better, that they just wanted me to be HAPPY ... i think everyone felt that now that my Mom was gone, it was their job to say what was obvious, for my own sake.

& yes, its like you sit back & suddenly its almost as if it doesnt MATTER ... its not MY fault anymore b/c i have SEEN THE LITE! lol

& too funny about your day in court. Mine is clueless as well. Lord knows HOW he will get by.

R~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 1:54pm

I know for a fact mine is still living rent free at his dad's place...with his dad.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2004
Tue, 12-28-2004 - 12:53pm

Rebecca:

Just for info's sake, last Christmas I knew I wouldn't spend another Christmas with him. I went through the motions of putting up decorations. When I took them down, I didn't even care how I put them away because I knew I wouldn't be there. I knew I was leaving him, but I didn't know when.

I left in May. I had my first Christmas without him. I went to see MY family and enjoyed it. I didn't have to listen to him complain about my sister-in-law and her "big mouth", or my neice and her "trooper" language, or my other neice and her "slutty" clothes. And I stayed as long as I wanted to stay. And I laughed. And I didn't have to be on guard. And I went to see them when I was ready to go. I wasn't on this time schedule. Next day, same thing, and the day after I went to my neice's apt. (which would have been way to far away if I was still with him). Again, I laughed and I enjoyed myself. Yes, I did have a few down moments at Christmas. That would be normal I assume having spent 26 Christmases with him.

I enjoyed this Christmas and look forward to many more....without him.

Happy