Please Read The Book Ladies
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 01-03-2005 - 3:15pm |
The book: Why Does He Do That?
I'm still here and still in my abusive relationship. Still trying to get the strength to leave. I actually left but came back. No need to lie to you guys I know you just want to help. Instead of maintaining the "NO CONTACT" rule I broke it and spoke to him. I also didn't really have a place to go and I had taken all the dogs with me. We were out and free and I came back. I can't believe I did that to myself and to them. He said he would leave because he didn't want me to be on the street. He didn't leave but he didn't try to hurt me when I got back either. There hasn't been any incidents since but I know enough to know that this is just the "honeymoon" period. I've been reading Why does he do that and not only am I learning about him and the abuse I'm learning about myself. I just learned that he fits all types of abusive men but he is most closly related to RAMBO. And I was attracted to him because I thought he would protect me from my last boyfriend who wasn't quit over me when we broke up and was abusive to me during the majority of our relationship. The physical abuse did stop after a while but it turned into him controlling me and never wanting me to see my friends or family. I didn't realize that it was abuse at the time, I was just happy he stopped hitting me. But I was so attracted to my now Abusive BF because I was worried my ex would come to hurt me and I wanted to be protected. My situation is horrible. Typically 1 good day and 6 bad days. Coming here helps a lot but I dont' have internet at home so I cant' post like I would like. I can only do so at work. Thank you for all of your help so far ladies. I have a very far way to go as I am dealing with abuse issues from over 5 years ago with my last relationship. I am coming along but slowly. I need your prayer and best wishes as I pray for you as well. Right now, it seems that he is okay but I know there will be another episode. The Repo men came at 3:30 am this morning to take his car (that is in my name). It was a big 2 hour stand off but the couldn't take the car because it was on private property. I wish they could have but I'm putting it in my bankruptcy which he finally agreed to. If he hadn't agreed, it would have been trouble for me if I did it. So that will be the only financial tie we have. We have cell phones together but that is a tiny bill that I am willing to bit the bullet on. After my depts are discharged I will have about $300 extra a month to save. He doesn't know it but I will. This is going to help a lot with my escape, room and board and possibly long term boarding for my dogs if need be. I'm taking it step by step and I know it's dangerous for me to even stick around but...I don't even have a good but, I'm just scared to leave. Thanks for reading. This book is REALLY helping me ladies. Don't wait to pick it up and help yourselves.

I browsed at that book a couple days ago... it seems like a great book. The only thing that kept me from getting it was that it seemed to be mostly for people living in a current abusive relationship... and I am single for 3 whole days now! lol
I looked in the back of the book (I think under References, but I could be wrong) and found the title "It's MY Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence" by Dugan and Hock. I went and bought that book today (o: I just browsed it, but it seems it will be helpful. I also recently purchased "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans and "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay.
Thank God for Christmas $$$ lol
Hugs
Julie
Hi Julie, welcome -
Write this number down:
CL-Blueliner4
Even though you're out, it's still a great book because it explains so much and it may help you in the long run by understanding why he did what he did.
CL-Blueliner4
Okay hon, thank you for the info.... I am tight on cash now... but I will keep my eye out at a used bookstore nearby (it is HUGE) and often has the coolest books. If I can't find it there I may just but it at Border's next month.
Thanks for your replies, they mean lots!!!
One better.
CL-Blueliner4