He doesn't really love me does he?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
He doesn't really love me does he?
3
Mon, 01-03-2005 - 6:54pm
I'm 23 and I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. When I first met him I thought he was someone I could fall in love with. He was sweet thoughtful and fun to be around. He did a lot of nice things for me. He taught me how to be a better driver, he's helped me find jobs, and he'd pick me from work almost everyday. Still not everything is perfect. I've been taking dance for almost two years. I'm getting pretty good at it I'm even thinking of trying to audition for this dance company this summer. I always talk about how much I love dance and how much I want a future in it but he always puts it down. He always says that my dreams are selfish because they don't include him. Not to mention he yells at me. The other day I was talking about how happy I was that I got to enjoy some of the nice weather we've been having and he yells at me. He said that I was trying to rub his face in it because he missed it and I wasen't. There were a few time that called me stupid ass when ever I did something "wrong". Then other times he tells me that I'm beautiful and that he loves me. It makes me sick.
In the past when he told me he loved me I believe him, but now I don't. I don't even wanna be around him anymore. I think if he really loved me he wouldn't yell at me and he would be supportive of my dreams. I don't know what to do. A friend of mine said that I should do things for myself to build up my self esteem so leaving would be easier I'm losing weight and finishing up school. Please help me. I could use the advice


Edited 1/3/2005 6:56 pm ET ET by astra225
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 01-03-2005 - 8:03pm

Hi Astra, welcome -


I can't say for certain whether or not the dude's abusive, but he's selfish as all get out and needs a swift kick in the fanny.


No, I don't think this guy loves you, because if he did he would support your dreams and wishes.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 8:22am

Hi astra...real love is kind and supportive of who we are, yes, you're right.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 01-04-2005 - 10:44am
I hate to tell you this but from what little bit you have written,I can tell you that your boyfriend doesn't love himself so it would be hard for him to love someone else.He sounds like a very negative ,and unhappy person who will lower your self esteem if you continue to stay with him ,and take his verbal abuse,which can sometimes turn into physical abuse. I know this because I was married to a man who was just like him. Please walk away from this distructive relationship,it will only hurt you more later if you don't.You stated you don't want to be around him anymore,so even though walking away will hurt for awhile,you will respect yourself and the decision you've made. Take care. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.