It's starting again

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
It's starting again
3
Mon, 07-25-2005 - 9:22am
Husband who has been increadably good for about a month now is starting to revert back to his old tactics. Friday he leaves a box of goodies from the bakery in my car for me to find when I leave work (how sweet). I'm in a good mood until I get home. He is in the bedroom on the internet and says that he doesn't like it because there are so many places to go to find a date. OK. Then he proceeded to "prove" to me that I had been on there looking for a date. OK. He just bought that computer for me to show that he trusted me but I never even turn it on much less get on the internet because I don't want to be accused of anything. I don't even have internet access on it because he is doing an AOL trial and only his screen name is on there (I don't want one). Of course he didn't believe me, even thought what he was saying was totally illogical. But here's the kicker he finally said "well, it doesn't matter because you can get online and do it at work if you want to". What am I supposed to quit my job now? You might be able to do stuff like that at work, I wouldn't know because I haven't tried it. I seriously doubt it though, they probably have stuff like that blocked. Then Friday night he kept me up all night because "he was upset and hurt that I didn't want him touching me anymore". OK, I was totally asleep and about 12:00 he aparently groped me or something and I grunted the wrong way. So he felt he had to wake me up to argue with me the whole night! Then to make it up to me, he took me to the movies and out to eat, but then on the way home he started in about the internet. I did figure out that the waking me up thing is just a new part of the control, he has been doing this for a month now for one reason or another, even though I have asked him not to. He even woke me up every night since, kissing me saying that he thought I would feel better if I got some "release"....Whatever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Mon, 07-25-2005 - 10:27am

And this behavior is going to continue.

5yrssm 
Avatar for debbe1959
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Mon, 07-25-2005 - 4:21pm
I see the wheel of abuse turning here, don't you? HP used to wake me up with various reasons, but they were just intros for keeping me up with his sick accusations. I had more sleepless nights than I can count! There is never an answer for their questions either-- if you were to quit your job, then he'd probably accuse you of being a lazy so and so or that you were expecting him to take care of you, or some other equally ridiculous notion! Is leaving an option? I worry that your situation will escalate-- it looks rather like it is. I know you can't function properly with being kept awake; you have to have sleep! I am so thankful that God freed from my STBX! I could have been another sad statistic, but now I am a success story in the making. Please get safe and stay safe!! Keep us posted on what you are doing. Love & prayers, Deb
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Mon, 07-25-2005 - 4:59pm
Thanks for all of your support. I'm just so angry with myself for even caring anymore. I didn't think that he could hurt me any more than he already has. My chest feels like it is going to explode because it hurts so bad. I can't concentrate on anything, I don't care about anything....I know I will get over it, I always do don't I? I just feel like I can't take it right now. I just want to say screw you and have enough courage to do what I need to do. If I don't do it soon, I'm afraid I'll lose my sanity. I'm tired of crying all the time anyway.