when its not just him abusing you

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
when its not just him abusing you
5
Sat, 08-27-2005 - 11:30pm

Hi I am new to this board. I sometimes posted on divorce or bw.

My problem is not only is my stbx an abuser, now the people that know him are harrasing me. I have people screaming threats as the stroll by my house.

I have called the police but because I don't know who they are they said they will keep an eye out but thats about it. a few months ago when I did know who was doing it they still didn't do anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2003
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 9:11am

How lovely for you. Has your STBX formed a local abusers chapter ?

Is it possible for you to put cameras up outside your house? That will provide physical evidence. You could also document every incident and take down descriptions, if possible.

Keep making a stink about it. It makes me really angry to see people constantly being let down by people who are paid to protect us!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 9:41am
Do you have a video camera or any kind of camera that you can keep right by the door or window? Make sure you enable the time & date feature so it's on the photos. I'd keep a notebook and pen handy, too, and write down the make & model of their cars, as much as the license number as you can get, a good description of what the people look like and what clothes they were wearing, and the time & date of each occurence.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 10:42am

I don't own a camera but it might be an investment I need to make.

Funny thing is I moved out of my other house to get away from all of this.

I am 21 weeks pregnant adn am just under so much stress from all of what has been going on.

I am going back to work against my drs advice but we have no money and all of the dvsc services don't help with bills, they say we can come stay in the shelter which is almost 40 miles from home, school and work.

In the mean time he didn't make his car payment which is in my name and I had let them put a lean on my paid for truck because the truck he was buying wasn't woth what he was payng so now they are threatening repo of my truck. My only way to support us and get back and forth the drs.

The Dr did document my sprained finger and bruised knee from the shove I got 2 weeks ago. but a protection from abuse order only covers him , not the rest of the world that now seems to know where I have moved.

Also Legal aid doesn't do divorce or custody issues and I can't afford a lawyer.

With my hormones all screwed up from the pregnancy , my emotions are out of control and I find myself crying all of the time.

In my head I know none of this is my fault and that neither my d or this unborn baby girl need ever have anything to do with him, but it is a sad and lonely exsistence at this point

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 12:00pm

The ladies here have given you wonderful advice.

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 1:41pm

Thank you for all of the advice , it helps just to be able to "type " about it.

Don't have friends to share it with and knowing others ion the same sit will be a help