Tired of It

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
Tired of It
17
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 11:39am
Hi...new here. Call me Elle. Have posted on some of the boards and just found this one. I need advice. I am sick and tired of my boyfriends attitude. One minute he is nice and loving and the next he is blowing up at me. Case in point. Friday I left work early ( we own a business ) and was going to do some ME TIME. Well he called and told me to get my ass back to the office and figure out what happened to his last motorbike payment. He said they just called and said that it was not paid in June. I knew I paid it in July and Aug, so I thought WTH? So he startes yelling at me on the phone telling me that if his credit is bad he is gonna take it out of my ass and this and that. I tryed to remain calm ( a tactic I have found shortens the lenght of what I have to hear) Everytime I opened my mouth to try and tell him I had taken care of it, he told me to shut up and started talking again. Then I hung up and he called back and ask if I want pizza for dinner? How can someone go from one extreme to another like that? I think he is bipolar or something. I mean I am moody when I am on my period, but this is crazy. I am constantly feeling like I am walking on eggshells and all weekend I was waiting on him to start about the payment again. When he throws these tantrums as I call them, I hate him....I mean it angers me so much that he won't listen to me. It is eating me up inside. I am at work this morning, and talked to him twice on the phone. He has been nice. but I never know when the other shoe is gonna drop. Does anyone here know what I am talking about? I could use some comfort from someone who understands my situation.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 7:27pm
I know exactly what you are talking about, my husband does the exact same thing. Won't take care of paying his own bills, because then he doesn't have someone to blame when things aren't done correctly. You call him boyfriend, don't do like I did and believe things will change and then go on to marry the guy. I just recently started posting on here, but, the support I have received is tremendous and I hope you will find it as supportive as I have. I've also wondered if my H is bipolar, but, then someone on this board pointed out to me that if he can control it, which he can with everyone else, it is likely not a mental illness. So, I'm learning, trying to get stronger and trying to accept that things will not change, at least not with him, that I have to be the one to make the changes by leaving........
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 7:32pm

Welcome to the board DBA....


First of all what you are dealing with is Jeckyl & Hyde scenario.

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 9:13am
Hi Wishful. I don't know that he is bi polar. He is not on meds. I said that in jest, but to think seriously about it, wouldn't there be something wrong with someone that acts like this, or is everyone like this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 9:18am
Hi Howdidi, thanks for the understanding. You know, My Mom always tells me that we take out our frusterations on those closest to us. I really don't know. I do know I am tired of making excuses for him. Just like I did my Dad growing up. Wouldn't you know it, he came home last night in the greatest mood. Like we were the Huxtables! He was laying on the sofa and motioned for me to come give him a hug, and then he said he felt some loving comeing on now that he was relaxed a little. I didn't say a word. To be honest, I don't even want sex that much anymore. It has been so few and far between with us, and when we do, it is not erotic or passionate. It is like sex for sex sake, you know? Anyway, now he is talking about this Winter redoing the house finally. I have been bugging him for three yrs now. But I didn't get to excited because any minute now the other shoe will drop.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 9:33am

No honey, not everyone is like him.

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 9:38am
Nooooo! I don't think you are fussing at me! I am so thankful to have found this forum and will check out the board website. Thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 9:55am
Glad you have found us :-)





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5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 2:57pm

he was in a good mood because he won in his mind. They always want sex if they think they have the upper hand, but sex to them is a weapon. It is a means of control.

I know what you mean though. It is like yeah right whatever, you want sex so now I should be able to want it as well. There is just no joy in it anymore you know?

And the house thing? Mine is always saying, "we need to fix up the house. I am going to redo the bathroom etc etc." But saying is as far as it goes. Sigh.

Hang in there. They are so impossible to deal with. I wish they would just grow up.

I am soo tired of walking on eggshells around him.

GT I can't be me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 3:08pm
How long have you been in your situation? The problem with mine is that he lets work affect his moods. He owns a business in case you didn't see my intro post. I work for him and that is a whole other beast. We rarely see each other though because he is always on sites and I am in the office. As for sex, he wants it when he wants it, which is RARE. To begin with I used to get so angry, but then I got matters into my own hands so to speak. I don't even find the idea of sex with him appealing anymore. It doesn't matter though, him saying he wants sex and actually performing is two different monkeys. I can walk around naked and him say oh honey your looking good, but never ever touch me. I don't know?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
In reply to: dba2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 3:38pm
Now that you mention it, I remember toward the end of my relationship w/Scott, sex w/him became so unappealing and I eventually saw him as very unattractive.
5yrssm 

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